Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A Really Shitty Day

Shit. Like actual shit. Poop. I never thought that so much of my adult life would revolve around poop. I never thought I would examine poop so closely unless I was some sort of scientist. Alas, I spend my days cleaning up poop, wiping poop, looking at the color, shape, size, and consistency of it. I never dreamed in all of my life that I would casually say, "a kid pooped on the floor again" and know all of the procedures for properly disinfecting the floor.

There was the day my daughter ate blue flour paint that I made. It also had glitter in it. The next day I was greeted with a blue and glittery diaper. My first thought was not "oh gross!" No, instead my first thought was "this is probably the prettiest diaper I've every changed" and proceeded to take a picture of it so my husband could witness it as well.

When I first started doing daycare, all of the kids were still in diapers. Thanks to a wonderful tummy bug going around, there was a day I changed 17 poopy diapers. Ever since that day, I've been cool with poop......and have been searching for the best antibacterial, moisturizing hand soap since then.

I've potty trained a handful of children. As anyone who's potty trained children knows, poop anywhere other than the potty is not uncommon. I've had poop on the floor, poop right in front of the potty chair with the child claiming "I missed," I've seen poop run down the leg, I've had a child use a toy as toilet paper, and I've had a child poop their pants and play with it. For real. If you're in the middle of potty training your child(ren), I feel ya. It can get interestingly shitty (no pun intended).

I know that if you're a mom and reading this, you're more than likely not cringing about this subject. In fact, you're most likely shaking your head in agreement, having dealt with some of these same situations. Well, I'll have you know that today was a shitty day here. Like, kids pooping all of the time. Then there's my daughter, who pooped during her nap. She promptly removed her diaper as soon as she woke up, wiped herself with her blankets, sat her dirty butt on her pillow, and called for me to "help! Mama! Help!" In related news, I'm making a push for a video monitor for her room tonight with the hubs who once again, did not have to deal with any of this shit.

If you find yourself having a very shitty day with your kids, just know you are not alone. I too, had a very shitty day.