Thursday, September 16, 2021

It's Not Living In Fear, It's Living Smart

Homeschooling for a second year in a row because our schools aren't following appropriate guidelines. This has a direct impact on my business and my husband's ability to work.

Last night we went to a concert. It's the most normal thing we've done since March of 2020. We haven't broken out of our "Covid world." Our two youngest have yet to be vaccinated. I can still faced extended closures for daycare if Covid shows up in one (or any) of the kids. My husband can still face quarantine restrictions and use precious vacation time or just simply not get paid. There are too many unsettling "what ifs" for us. We're unable to comfortably go back to life. 

Some have told us we're living in fear. Those same people seem to lack basic understanding and reasoning. Plus,  I absolutely HATE to see that argument. 

You see, we live life. We live life A LOT. We've probably lived more life in the last month than some of you who are telling us to stop living in fear have lived in your entire lives. Yet I'm living in fear because I won't send my children back into their school buildings where there are no protocols or mitigations being done to help stop the spread of the virus. 

I've given up trying to explain my side of things. I'm just angry at this point. Being careful and safe isn't living in fear. Making smart choices that don't make us lose businesses, money, or jobs isn't living in fear. It's being careful, safe, and ensuring our livelihood. I'm angry that the rules, morals, and ethics I preach to my children aren't even thought of by others. 

By the time my nine year old reaches her half birthday this year, she will have learned what it means to make sacrifices for the good of others. She knows how to care, how to help, and how her one little self can impact this world. When the pandemic first hit, it was easy to focus on what we were missing. However, after over 18 months of this, I can say my children (and myself) gained so much more. They will be better for going through all of it. We haven't taught them to live in fear and think only of what they're missing out on. We've focused on the things we can do, doing things we've always wanted to do, and doing them smartly. 

This Was Not A Special Mom Moment

Picture from April Fools Day 2018, when my boys took fooling to a whole new level

There are moments in parenting that are special. Moments where we're so proud we're sure we could burst. I almost had a moment like that last night before my middle child destroyed it. Let me set the stage. My daughter and I live in a house with boys. I quickly learned that they're messy, especially in the bathroom. 

I'll never forget the day I walked into the bathroom at our old house and discovered urine dripping from my ceiling and wall. My oldest, who was four at the time, proudly announced he had tried to pee on the ceiling to see if it would "just fall" (he meant ricochet) into the toilet. It did not and he didn't think to tell anyone about the little mishap. He waited until his mother, who was raised in a house with girls by a mother who only had sisters, walked into the bathroom and nearly fainted before mentioning what had gone down in that bathroom. That was not the reason we moved from that house, but it probably should have been because my bathroom never smelled right after that day.

Due to that incident, and some others, we have a rule: if you're too lazy to clean up your mess, you sit down. I've been over it with them a thousand times: no one wants pee dribbles and I will not be the one to clean up after them. I'm totally the mom who wakes them up at midnight if I discover their bathroom is messy. I refuse to deal with it. So, my boys know. They're pretty good about it.

Last night, my middle son ran up to my bathroom and quickly sat down on the toilet. I was in my room writing and he's casually chatting with me while he pees. We have no issues with being comfortable showing our bodies. As I walk by the bathroom, I see him grab a little bit of toilet paper. In my mom mind, he was being considerate and wiping his penis so he didn't dribble. I commended him on this weird thoughtfulness that any future girlfriends or wives will surely appreciate.

He looked at me weird and said, "I'm not wiping my penis mom. I had a really wet fart and I need to wipe after that one."

My mom moment was completely....gone. Shattered. Destroyed. Then we had a discussion about sharts and that's what it's like to be a mom to a boy.