Knock The Goals Outta The Park

 

Being self employed and someone who is working towards growth by bettering myself, I like lists. I enjoy creating my ongoing, never complete Bucket List. It seems as soon as I cross one thing off, I instantly find five more things to add to it. I have To Do Lists coming out of my ears: there's the monthly to do list, weekly to do lists, daily to do lists, seasonal to do lists, and yearly to do lists. I treat these To Do Lists as goals, trying to get everything crossed off, so I can move onto the next. It's exhausting, but it's who I am. I'm never joking when I say, "it's exhausting being me; try being inside my mind."

My brain is constantly thinking, coming up with ideas. Even as I drift off to sleep, if I fall asleep with an idea on the tip of my brain, I dream about it all night long. 2021 has been a year of huge growth and development for me. That's required me to make big goals for myself. I started the year with the goal to give myself a little more me time by completing a writing a day. It hasn't been perfect. I've skipped an entire week here and there due to travels or crazy days. However, with this post, I am completely caught up. I have written 328 blog posts of my thoughts, our life, daycare, little ramblings.

October was travel month for us. I completed my goal of solo traveling with kids, seeing whales in the wild, climbing mountains (that's not new, but it's something we love to do), and seeing places that have been on my bucket list. I needed something for November. On the morning of November 1st, I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo. By November 18, I had 50,000+ words and a rough draft of a book. A book I've had in my head for awhile, but never made the time to get it all out. 

I have no idea what I'll do with this book or what writing goals I'll make into 2022; I know I'll make some because that's just who I am. But for now, I'm proud for sticking with it and hitting the goals I've made for myself this year.

Giant Pizza Fiasco

This is one of those things I won't soon forget. This is almost as good as the time my husband accidentally bought our daughter diamond earrrings as her very first pair of earrings (read that story here). Much like the earrings fiasco, I left my husband to order pizza. Alone. From a brand new restaurant. I gave my input as to what pizza should be ordered, but I had no hand in the actual ordering.

I didn't think much about it when he said, "this is really expensive pizza." We were ordering from a new, local pizza place. I didn't think it would be cheap, but I never once looked at the menu myself, so I just kind of shrugged it off.

40 minutes after hitting the submit button to their online ordering, our pizza arrived. As with most deliveries, my husband met the delivery person on the front porch, so we could avoid a possible dog escape. Once again, I wasn't paying attention to anything going on other than giving the stay command to the dog. 

As my husband tried to fit through the door, I noticed him coming in backwards, saying, "help! I can't fit through the door." I instantly thought he was messing with me.

"Stop fucking around and get in," I replied, doing the bare minimum to help and just opened the door wider for him. I saw him manuevering the pizza boxes sideways, not thinking anything of it. It wasn't until he was fully inside that I took a good look at the pizza box he was holding. I started chuckling, but within seconds I was on the floor, tears in my eyes, laughing at his ordering mistake.

He clearly paid no attention to the sizes of the pizzas he was ordering. Our 'large' cheese pizza for the kids was 2ft x 2 ft. Our medium pizza was the size of an x-large pizza and the breadsticks were the size of a small cheese pizza. The ordering goof wasn't the only thing that had me rolling. I was working away on my computer when the delivery driver showed up, my husband watching the news in a dark living room, while the kids were playing at the neighbor's house (waiting to be called home for dinner). I'm sure the driver had to think he was delivering to a party or gathering with the amount of food he was carrying. Instead, he pulled up to a dark, quiet house, likely walking away thinking, "how much do these people eat??" Of course, all that food fed us and daycare for two days, so it wasn't bad. Simply hilarious, is more like it.

A Target Fairytale

Once upon a time, there was a mother. She would spend her days with children, who would be attached to her all day long. She cooked, cleaned, did super fun activities with the children, and made sure each day had the same routine. These days were hard. Her outlet was when her business closed for the day, her husband came home from work, and she roamed the aisles of Target aimlessly. Multiple times a week. It was pretty much her hobby. As the children got older, her life became busier, so those Target trips became infrequent. Many weekends, she would brave the retail world and take her children shopping with her. One day, a pandemic struck, essentially killing all in-store roaming she did. It was all pick ups and deliveries. She was forced to find new outlets. It was hard at first, but her bank account thanked her.

Twenty months after the pandemic began, she found herself bravely saying, "okay, let's make a family trip to Target." And they did. They roamed each and every aisles. They got items on their list such as toilet paper and cat litter. They even bought Christmas presents. Then, they got carried away. When she went to unpack the sacks after their little Target outing, she found things such as a decorative pillow that matches nothing in their house, scented sand (what the hell???), bath bombs (no one in the house takes baths), Gingerbread cookie mix (that exactly one person in their household will eat), some fun little stamp things (at least, she thinks that's what it is), and some kind of candle.

It's at this point she realized her mistake. She should have never asked her family to come with her on this special outing. Because somewhere between vacuums and new hair clips that no one needs, they forgot the number one thing on the list: bread for lunches.  But that's the thing about shopping at Target with five people. It's not just her throwing random shit into the cart, but four others as well. So now, she will have to find the time to walk back into the store to get the bread she wants and will walk out $200 poorer with no bread. Going back to in-store shopping at Target will likely be her undoing. There is no end to this fairytale, just an empty bank account and a husband who has to remind her they need zero new doormats.

Random Wednesday Thoughts

There's a new Clifford movie on Paramount+. Good thing we subscribe to every app ever and can watch it.

It's raining and dreary. I drank herbel calming tea instead of coffee this afternoon. Now my ass is dragging and it's too late in the day to grab a cup of coffee or I'll be up all night. I think this is classified under old people problems. 

We can't tell the leaves apart from piles of dog poop. The kids want to rake leaves and jump in them. This is what the CDC would consider a high risk activity. Not recommended, but the kids will probably still do it.

Thank goodness the kids are cooking dinner tonight because I so definitely do not want to. Picture of their stuffed shells and cheese, salad, and french bread pictured above. The bread is not homemade. I don't think I can manage that with them.

The sun sets by 5 p.m. now. I'm having a difficult time with it. I feel ready for bed by 7 p.m. despite not even being tired and I'm pretty much useless after 4 p.m. I absolutely despise it; longer days again can't come soon enough.

I fell asleep writing and failed to finish this post, so Wednesday's thoughts are now Thursday's thoughts as well. Then, I got involved in a book, so Wednesday's thoughts turned into Thursday's thoughts turned into Thursday night's thoughts. That's how we roll around here.

Nap Times Are For Writing

 

Not always, but sometimes. Usually two or three days a week I can fit in some kind of writing during rest times. It's therapeutic. I'm catching up on my 'writing a day' from vacation. Plenty of post ideas, just short on time. That's pretty much the story of my life though. I decided on Monday November 1 to participate in NaNoWriMo. It began that day. I gave myself one hour to come up with an idea. I'm now 25,000 words in and I'm addicted. Most days when I sit down to write I have no idea what's going to come out. Then I go back and reread what I wrote. Sometimes it's genius. Other times it makes zero sense and has zero direction. I have to decide whether to erase it all come up with a way to make it comprehensible.

At a writing coach's suggestion, I had to try my hand at fanfiction. I couldn't do it. It totally ruined a show for me. So fanfiction is not for me. I'm sticking to what I know for this round. If it goes well I'll branch out. 

Every afternoon I have a cup of tea or another cup of coffee. I know, bad habits. I switched to herbal teas this week to avoid extra caffeine. I made it four days and today I chose a Starbucks holiday drink. I figured I'd better get one in while supplies last. I can definitely say the sugar cookie latte is amazing. I'll probably need to get it again soon. Likely on an afternoon I spend writing or on a night I stay up too late trying to get all of these thoughts on pages. 

A Little Bit Of Me Time

A moment of peaceful reflection this morning while I sipped coffee and enjoyed the view out of the living room windows.

Remember that goal I set out to achieve in 2021? The one where I write every day? Well, I'm still doing it. I'm still accomplishing it. While I may not get everything published on the blog daily, I AM writing daily and posting when I can. Even when I'm on a solo parent vacation with three minis and a pup. Although, today it was used as time for myself.

The theme of our Airbnb is "meditative relaxtion," so that's exactly what we've achieved while here. We've taken it easy, the minis did school work in peace, we hiked the trails surrounding us, and while the minis enjoyed the backyard garden, I took some me time to type out what I've written the last few days. It's mostly just reflections on traveling.

I'll never speak ill of Western Nebraska again. I've been to over half of the states in this country and I have more than learned that each state has it's own beauty.

Gas has ranged from $2.70 to $4 per gallon so far this trip. I can't say I was thrilled to pay $3.90 at a station that was literally right next to an oil field. I'm also silently panicking that shortages are going to hit while we're making our way across the country. I am not equipped to handle that shit, I can promise you that.

The dog is in heaven. He doesn't have to compete with my husband for love and attention. He's fine with the kids, but it's a giant pissing contest between my husband and the dog. 

9+ hours of drive time plus stops is too much. Noting that for the return trip home. Under 6 hours at a time is ideal.

Having older kids rocks. Traveling solo with kids hasn't been as nervewrecking due to the minis being older. I've enjoyed every part of it so far, even those incredibly long days in the car. 

What Shall I Write?

 

Pictured: sleeping child; oblivious to my loud typing and the music playing in the background.

That's the question at the moment.

I'm not really sure what to write this evening....which has now become morning. I sat at an empty computer screen most of the night. I had a lot of thoughts, but nothing that could get past two sentences. Whenever I'm at a writing impasse, I tend to website hop. My dog's birthday presents are now on their way and I wrote next week's lesson plans/curriculum for the minis. Finishing up the regular curriculum and doing my own is next level. It takes even more planning and researching on my part. I totally had to relearn the capitals of the Canadian provinces, which just got me wanting to travel. Then I wound up on Airbnb looking at cabins all around the world. Which then got me looking at airline prices or how long it would take to drive to Alaska. Not being able to think of something to write is exhausting.

Sometimes the words flow easily and the topics come off the top of my head. I'll sit down to write and five minutes later I've got 1,000+ words on a random topic. Or there's evenings and mornings such as this. I can't think of a viable topic so I just write. Something, anything, and nothing all at once. That's kind of how my week has been.

I'm doing a lot and nothing at the same time. I've woken up exhausted yet couldn't fall asleep the night before. I got the okay to begin planning (outdoor) events again and yet I can't make it too big. How does one who likes to go big or go home do such a thing? I also failed to call a friend back (yet again). I remember I need to well after my kids are in bed and just as I'm falling asleep at night. She's in bed too, so I don't dare disrupt the precious sleep. I'll likely remember again at an inopportune time for both of us. This is why being a mom and having friends is one of the hardest things in the world.

What should I watch while I write? I can't write in silence. I usually have music playing, a movie or television show on, and maybe a podcast or some other type of video. It's funny that I'm most creative in the dead of night, when the world is at its quietest. That reminds me I need to order new ear buds. Those come in handy as the only sound that can be heard at this hour is the humming of my laptop and the taps of the keys. 

I avoid checking news sources. It's all too much. How do you explain to your children how little progress this world has truly made? Make all the memes you want, but does that truly show who someone truly is? Actions speak much louder than words. Hashtags only go so far. Wearing a shirt with different colors of hands all over only goes so far. Are there others truly trying to make a difference and not simply standing for justice with memes, reshares, and hashtags? I feel so very alone in my desires to make this life better, but without posting all over social media about it. Or do all of those reshares and opinions on social networks truly raise awareness and change minds? I think not, but I am always willing to listen on the subject.

Am I an influencer? I'm answering an email. Ummm....no? But I do give others ideas and share my opinions, so maybe? But I refuse to be one of those influencers. I doubt I need to tell you the type. 

Well, now I have officially written nothing and everything. Every single thought that has been in my head in the last five minutes. My eyes are drowsy, my brain a jumble...although that's how I usually find it. Did I mention my dog's eye goobers? Those are gross. That's probably my least favorite part of dog ownership. My least favorite part of writing is not thinking of anything to write. Then you get a whole lot of this.

Headed Back Out Into the World

 

Out in the world at a state park, fall 2020. Most of our To Do List is visiting state parks so we can remain socially distanced from others.

It seems bizarre to write, but how do I know we're ready to head back out into the world? In the last couple of weeks, I've bought tickets to socially distanced, outdoor events, planned a couple of road trips, and even made a To Do List for spring and summer. Is it too soon? I am too hopeful? What if we're not ready?

Each year, as the weather warms and my soul comes out of hibernation, typically the first thing I crave is to have a drink on a patio with friends. While I had that thought this week, I was also overcome by the powerful feeling of wanting to do more. I still question many things thanks to the last year, but I also feel like we're ready for more. I should say, carefully and calculated type of ready. 

As I make more plans, as our to do list grows, I keep in mind that I am the only one vaccinated. We're still a risk to others and my other family members are still at risk of bringing Covid into our home, which can greatly affect my business and our jobs. This is such a personal decision, everyone has various comfort levels. I can talk about my feelings all I want to friends, but it's nothing someone else can help me/us decide. My comfort level could be beyond someone else's and someone else's comfort level could be beyond mine. Thankfully, I have many friends who just sit and listen, help me problem solve without putting their own opinions or feelings into it. That can be hard to manage right now. Believe me, I know how lucky I am to have such people in my corner. They've gotten me/us through this last year.

I am completely over the moon to head to Chicago to visit a friend and her new baby (who isn't even new anymore) for a weekend in May. Somehow, we plan on being in America's third largest city and doing outdoor activities and take out only. That could prove challenging. I'm cautiously planning a road trip to the beach. Exactly where will be determined by Covid cases at travel time, but I guess I'll be doing a crash course in camping on the beach with three kids and a dog. In related news, homeschool and the teacher will be learning how to set up tents next month in....I don't know what class to put it in. Family and Consumer Sciences? Gym class? Anyway, I think time in a houseboat is in order for late August. I couldn't think of a better way to spend the Hub's 40th birthday. On a lake, on the boarder of the U.S. and Canada (that we likely won't be able to enter yet), with no one else around. Socially distanced trips will be our thing for a long while.

I find myself looking forward to this summer much more than last. I have hopes of actually going to a swimming pool, sitting on a patio or two, and gathering with a few friends and select family members outdoors, with plenty of space between us. I suppose this is what our world will look like. Hopefully. I think everyone's mental health needs this.

Friday's Favorite Moments of the Week

 

I often post a my favorite things, but this week needed a different kind of favorites. Instead of things, I'm featuring the week's best moments. There's been many of them as this was a BIG week in our household: my 37th birthday, me being completely vaccinated against Covid, our 13th wedding anniversary, and my 10th daycare anniversary, as well as me getting ready for my virtual stage debut in Expressing Motherhood. That's a lot of amazing things all happening in the same week!

1.) I swear Fruity Pebbles cake isn't as weird as it sounds. I love seeing the boys in the kitchen. I love that they baked daycare's 10th anniversary cake.

2.) Playing inside. I scrambled to do a toy rotation Tuesday evening before daycare returned Wednesday. It was well worth it! I've watched the kids play all week with each other in some fantastic role playing scenes!

3.) Family moments at the end of a busy day.

4.) The backyard melted and was open for playing this week! Muddy, but so much fun!

5.) When I wrote this post earlier in the week, I had no idea how many people I'd connect with. Friends, strangers, people I haven't heard from in years all contacted me to share stories over a vaccine. It was empowering and a great reminder of why I do what I do with this blog.

6.) Doing my make up multiple days in a row. I may go big and use blush next weekend.

7.) Sitting on a Zoom rehearsal with a group of women I'd never met, but who were all empowering, supportive, and positive. [this is pictured above and also shows off my make up. Not that my make up looks wonderful, it's simply proof that I had a little bit on!]

8.) This naughty puppy, who (all within one day) ate an entire cake, ate the kid's play dough, puked up the cake and play dough, chased birds out of the yard, jumped out of our backyard, wouldn't come home when called and then ran away from me when I got close to grab him, and chewed on a chair leg. He's cute, keeps life fresh, and is still the best, troublesome pup ever. We love him. 

9.) A new play dough recipe: whipped frosting, powdered sugar, and food coloring. The playroom smelled sweet all week and the kids spent hours playing with it!

All The Small Things

The small things in life; like a cup of (decaf) coffee and oatmeal.

All the small things that happen in a day.

 A laugh, a kiss, a hug, a tear, a stomping foot. Meals, snacks, drinks, and random in-betweens. Toilet flushes, paper towel rolls, and laundry washes. Canned beans, bananas, yogurt. Can openers, spatulas, and dirty bowls. Books, Barbies, blocks. Crayons, glue, and glitter. Rules, freedoms, schedules. Dances, toothbrushes, soap. A snowstorm, marshmallows, and boots. Impeachment, liars, SSB 1065. Homework, reading, worksheets, teaching. Coffee, water, back to coffee. Deep breaths, patience, overload. Texts, emails, status. Sweat pants, slippers, messy buns. Newscasts, X-Files, radar, books. Bedtime, pillows, stalls. Darkness, quiet, whispers, giggles.

All the small things that happen in a day.

Thursday Thoughts

 

Getting ready for a meeting; December 2020. Yes, that's a seltzer sitting on the keyboard.

I had a meeting Tuesday night. A virtual meeting, but any kind of meeting has been few and far between for me the last 10 months. Life has slowed down considerably for me/us. At first, I wasn't a fan. Then I began to enjoy our commitment free life. So, when that meeting popped up, I had a taste of what nearly every single weeknight was for us pre-Covid. I was beginning to forget.

I threw a quick dinner of burrito bowls together as daycare closed. I gave the minis instructions about feeding themselves, feeding the dog, and then I showered and hopped on my meeting. It was a quick meeting, but my 9 p.m. I was tired for my long day. I sat on the couch and watched a mindless episode of something or other. It made me realize that I'll need to have a heart to heart with myself in the coming weeks and months.

Do I want the busy schedule we once had? Or do I want the slow(er) life? I feel more accomplished when I'm doing things, but not living life out of our calendar for fear of forgetting something important, is not something I'm ready to commit to again. It's been more freeing than I imgained.

Thoughts on post-Covid life makes me uncertain. I knew for sure how I wanted life to look pre-Covid, but the last 10 months have changed that. I can't be alone in those thoughts. 

I Want My Kids To See The Scary Stuff

 

As with millions of Americans, I watched the breaking news coverage of the coup at the Capitol on Wednesday afternoon. I sat in horror, shut off my social media (because at times like that, it can be too much), and told my minis Spanish class was done. I told them briefly what was going on, what they were going to see, and turned on the news coverage for them to watch.

After living through 2020 that included a pandemic, civil unrest, unjust actions against people of color, and generally just having their entire lives turned upside down, they didn't get scared. Instead, they watched. The first words were spoken by my 8 year old:

"Ugh, they're not even wearing masks! This is going to be a super spreader...we're never going to be able to see people if they dont' stop doing this!" She may or may not have added a shit in there, but I honestly could care less because she just spoke more intelligently than half of America. 

They didn't have a lot of questions, but they watched for nearly an hour. They continued to check in on the news throughout the evening. When something like this happens, my first instinct is to text friends and family--mostly those who I know will have the same reaction I am. I know many of my friends with children turned their televisions off and didn't want their kids exposed to what was happening. I'm on the other end of that.

I want my children to see this mess of a society we've created. I want them to always remember the horrifying images on our TV. I want them to see the anger, the uncalled for actions of their fellow Americans. I want those images and feelings to be forever etched in their minds, so that someday, if it ever comes to it, THEY KNOW what to do, how to take a stand for what is good. In order to grow and change, you must live and learn. I make sure they do both in ways I know how. Having them see and experience the not-great stuff in life is part of it. Attempting to answer their questions, even when I don't understand it myself, is one of the hardest things in the world as a parent. My goal is to make better people than I, so I answer those questions as best as I can. I watch how they respond to the tough stuff and help them through their feelings and thoughts, without imposing my own opinions on them. 

Nothing about Wednesday was easy, but I'm glad my children saw it. I can only hope that it made an impact on them as it did with so many other people. My children have been living history that will go down in books as things that changed the world. The last year has been FULL of things too difficult to see or hear about, but I make myself so I can teach them that you must stand up to the scary stuff, no matter what it is. 

A Writing A Day

 

I predict puzzles will be a big part of winter 2021

2020 gave me time. I was able to do things I never found the time to do. It pulled me out of my comfort zone so many times and for that, I'm a better person going into 2021. When March 13 rolled out, also known as the day the world changed, I began keeping a journal. I wrote nearly every day until the middle of June. Writing has always been an outlet for me, so it would make sense that it got me through some tough months. Of course, by June, I was busy with summer daycare and a new puppy (just like having another kids, fyi). Then, it was worrying about school for the minis. Then, it became worrying about homeschooling. Then, I was concerned how I would possbily run a business or two AND homeschool? Then, I became engrossed in homeschooling. Writing and journaling took a backseat. This blog has served as my children's baby books, recounting every special moment in our family and their lives. I have failed to put much of this year on the blog because it's in my journals. I don't regret much in my life, but that is one I do.

Much like I do every year, after Thanksgiving, I began my list of goals for 2021. Something that I learned in 2020, I no longer have specific goals for the year. Instead, I have broad goals, but goals that add to my life. I want simple and attainable, since I know 2021 is an uncertain year. I know I could write a goal or hope to spend time with friends and family, but I also am aware that we may not have mastered how to do that safely. I can wish for live music and concerts to return and our favorite events. But I'm not convinced we're ready for them. What I can have goals for myself that help me grow and be a better person and parent.

• Continue to give, help others, and give back to the community. Let my children see me do this. Stock food pantries.
• Continue to explore and adventure, even if it's our own backyard. We've learned to build and grow things in our backyard. I learned to use a chainsaw and live without electricity for 5 days thanks to a derecho. I also learned how to take a completely impromptu road trip with three kids and a puppy when the lack of electricity got to be too much. That week will forever be etched in my mind as the scariest, luckiest, random, and funnest week I may have ever had...all thanks to a derecho. We built a fence (and then watched as the puppy jumped that fence), we grew butter lettuce and enjoyed salads every day for lunch, we also grew plenty of other vegetables that would have fed us too if that same puppy didn't eat them or destroy them first, and we rescued baby oppossums that fell from the tree during the derecho.
• And the biggest goal....write every day. Even if it's a simple short musing or the day's fun activity. Not only will this be a personal challenge and force me to find me time to do this, it will also help keep my mind in focus.

My First Deliberate Break From Life

Walking in the pouring rain at Valley Forge. Believe it or not, this was part of my break from life. I don't typically find myself walking in the rain at historical places, teaching my kids history as they have meltdowns. 

It was noted during the past weekend's gatherings that I haven't been doing a lot of writing. I have been pretty silent on the blog except for our vacation posts. Usually silence on things means I'm focusing on something else. But for the first time in what seems like forever, I haven't been. I haven't been doing much of anything other than living.

I took a deliberate break from life. A much needed, refreshing break from my busy life.

It took some planning in numerous areas of my life: financially (could we essentially afford for me to take a two and a half month break from my freelance writing jobs on top of an 18 day vacation from daycaring?), physically (would the things I usually do and plan at the Museum be covered?), mentally (do you have any idea how hard it is to prepare for such a break?? I had to make sure everything was turned in on time or ready ahead of time--neither or which are my strong suites). But I had a solid year, seriously a full year, to prepare for my break and I used every minute of that year just so I could have my break.

I realized I had never truly taken a break in, well, eleven years. Despite every vacation we've taken in the last three years alone, I haven't taken a true break from my life. I still received (and responded) to texts and emails, I used my relaxed state to write instead of relaxing more, I deliberately posted on Facebook and Instagram, I looked at my calendar to make sure I could do everything that needed done as soon as I was available. Vacations or times off weren't a break from life, it was just living life in a new environment. There was no true break.

Last summer, the summer of no vacation because of our big spring break trip to Florida, I made myself a promise that I would take time to enjoy summer. I love summer. I love craziness that comes with my children having their friends here day in and day out. I love our time spent outdoors. I didn't want to let another summer go by and be overworked. I wanted the break and to be completely present in my vacation.

My WAHM (work at home mom) status gives me a lot of wiggle room. I can take time off when it suits our family, I can choose how much money I want to bring in each month (which is tied directly to how busy I am). What's the fun in owning my own businesses and working from home if I don't take advantage of it?

I spent the entire month of May running and making it so all of my writing projects were wrapped up at the beginning of June. Ironically, I spent June running around like I had my head cut off, so I was really happy I didn't have anything extra on my plate. When we left for our eighteen day East Coast adventure, the emails, texts, and business communications went on silent. I found myself posting pictures on social media for fun and not just "to keep my name out there." 

To be perfectly honest, coming back from an eighteen day vacation was so refreshing and rejuvenating that I decided to take off more time from my writing. I slowly started back to my life and our every day craziness. It was a good summer. It's been a summer to remember. I'd like to say I plan to take a deliberate break from life every summer, but that may not always be feasible. What I do plan on doing is taking more breaks throughout the year (as determined by this year's school schedule and the numerous breaks my children get). Sometimes in order to go forward one must take a step back to see clearly. I know what I value in life and what feeds my soul, but sometimes a break from everything extra is needed....and eleven years is much too long without a true break.

A Day In My Life

There's rarely a day in my life that I don't take a picture. Today it was an accidental selfie as I was eating a Twizzler while trying to snap a pic of the kid's May Baskets I set out. I'm still not a photographer. At all.

I have a lot of people curious about our life. Usually it's friends and family, asking what our daily life is like. Lately, I've had numerous other people ask about our busy life and what we do all of the time "because it seems like you're always on the go with something." Well, we are! I get people's curiosity because I'm, by nature, a curious person. If I could spend time looking in people's windows without being creepy just to catch a glimpse of their day to day life I'd do it (but again, creepy, so I don't). We're all involved in quite a bit and have a fairly packed schedule. 

I enjoy being active in our community, going to events, writing, and most importantly, teaching kids during their earliest years. I'm lead a privileged life and am able to incorporate all of my loves into my daily life. I understand other's curiosity about our life when we share so much, yet not the full picture. 

The last time I shared a day in life was years ago (I totally didn't feel like searching for the post, so I didn't, but feel free to look yourself) and the minis were much younger. The minis are older now, which means my daycare days are now spent with a crew of littles who are not mine (unless it's summer vacation or other breaks throughout the school year). The days somehow seem to run a little smoother than I remember them running when my minis were with me 24/7. I kind of love it and enjoy the little things in my day even more. Hub's hours are no longer quite as all over the place as they once were. He's now the one home in the evenings while I'm off in meetings or working on my writing jobs. That was quite the change, but it's now over a year later and we've settled into this new routine. The minis are involved in more and more, which seems overboard this time of year as there's final performances, recitals, rehearsals, programs, school picnics, field days, etc. I'm honestly looking forward to the end of the insanity because we leave for our 18 day vacation right after it ends. I look at it as my reward for being so busy!

Here's a quick break down of our life at the moment:

Me: daycare provider from 7:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. M - F, freelance writer and blogger (I aim for 1 hour a day, sometimes that's more, sometimes that's less depending on what projects I agree to), Board of Directors for Des Moines Children's Museum/programming committee coordinator
Hubs: manager at The UPS Store, anywhere from 8-10 hours a day, 5-6 days a week
Max (oldest mini): school, orchestra, piano
Harrison (middle mini): school, piano, acting classes at the Des Moines Playhouse
Elizabeth (youngest mini): school, dance (ballet, tap, tumbling) (next year piano and a jazz class will be added to this mix)

Our weekdays are fairly predictable, with the minis off at school for 7 hours a day, followed by outside time, running/exercising, practice time (instruments, piano, learning lines for plays, dancing). We try to squeeze in family dinner every night of the week, but some weeks that is impossible. Monday's, Tuesday's, and Thursday's are meeting and conference call nights for me. I also try to make these my longer writing nights. Wednesday's are dance nights, followed by our weekly date night in for Hubs and myself (occasionally we head out for dinner if we can snag a sitter last minute). I try hard not to schedule anything for this night so we can have a break, but sometimes that's unavoidable. Friday's are our standing Family Movie Nights. We typically order pizza or get take out from a local restaurant, agree on a movie, and watch an hour and a half of whatever movie we picked. By Friday we're all beat and ready for an early bedtime.

Saturday is our go-day. Sometimes we're at the Museum all day. Sometimes we're running around Central Iowa exploring. Sometimes we're doing both. Sometimes we're with family. Sometimes we're with friends. Sometimes we're with both. Rarely are we home on Saturday's...unless it's winter. Then I like to be home in my warm bed binge watching Netflix or Hulu. Unless I have to, I try not to do any writing on Friday's and Saturday's until well after the minis are in bed, but sometimes that's unavoidable.

Sunday is our Family Fun Day. We try to make it a "sleep in" day for Hubs and myself, but usually we're up by 7:30 a.m. If we do anything, we agree to be home by 3 p.m. so we can do dinner and early bedtimes for the minis. I like to avoid that Monday morning hangover. Sunday at 4:00/4:30 is our big family dinner. We grill, we cook large meals, we sit around the table until 6 p.m. laughing and talking and sharing. It's one of my favorite things about our weekends. Sunday nights are deep cleaning nights for Hubs and myself, unless I have a big project or deadline I need to hit....or if we decide to blow up 300 balloons for April Fools Day. Those kind of things keep the deep, deep cleaning from happening.

Yes, our life is somewhat exhausting (as many have commented!), but it's very rewarding as well. As it was when I began this blog 6 years ago, my greatest accomplishment is that I've been able to include my children every step of the way. As much as they're not involved, they're incredibly involved in each of my "jobs." From daycare (obviously), to writing (because 99% of the time I'm writing about my experience as a mom and daycare provider), to opening a children's museum in our city (something they get o enjoy often) they're either right there, a part of everything I do, or they have a backseat view.

I still fall into bed each night exhausted. I still drink a good amount of coffee each day. I order take out too often. I have to remind myself to breathe and take breaks. I'm either at home curled into a ball exhausted or on the go at 110 mph. There's no in between for us. I have been making notes to take things slower and sometimes I listen to those mental notes I make....like when the youngest mini misses nearly a week of school because she's so exhausted from all of our running. I may groan at 6:35 each morning when my alarm goes off, but I (usually) have so much to accomplish each day that the tiredness disappears easily.

I imagine one day I'll slow it down. I like to tell people "I'll sleep when I'm dead. Right now I have a lot to do and I'm going to do it all."

Life As A Freelance Writer

This sums up life for me.

I once read that the best writers write what they know. That piece of advice has stuck with me throughout the years. I unexpectedly came into my daycare profession and I was unexpectedly good at it. Soon, I had people asking me for tips and to share my tricks to get kids learning and involved. That got me into the blogging business.

As one can figure, it's tough to make money with a blog. I honestly didn't get into blogging for money or finding future work. I got into it because it was easier to share what I was doing with my daycare, plus, I soon realized it was a great stress reliever for me. I've always loved writing and suddenly I was getting to do it for fun. I was combining two of my passions into "work." I wrote what I knew and that got the ball rolling into a side-career of freelance writing.

I soon got email requests from other blogs and websites that wanted me to contribute to their content. I began accepting more and more writing assignments, at first for free (typically this involved sending them already published pieces on The Kidsperts and giving them permission to use them) and then eventually I received paid writing projects. I (usually) took on whatever projects I could to build up a writing portfolio and gain experience.

These days I'm picky about what projects and assignments I take on. Some of these are time sensitive and I have just hours to write something (or as I say "throw shit together"). Other projects I have several weeks or months to write so I can do proper research. Either way, my laptop is carted around my favorite work spots in my house: the right side of the big red couch in the living room, my dining room table (I've worked through many family dinners), the deck in the backyard that overlooks the backyard, and occasionally I wind up in my office (that's a rarity however).

I rarely seek projects out; I wait for others to contact me and give me a topic to write about. From there, my assignments vary greatly on who has hired me and their expectations. Most projects I'm free to write what I'd like as long as I get the key points in. Some projects are picky and I have to watch how many words are in the article, copyright issues, and the tone of the article(s). 

Most of my weekdays involve a ten hour daycare day, followed by a night of writing. If I didn't love writing and use it as a source of stress relief from my days with kids (however, let me take a minute to acknowledge that some writing projects bring stress as well!), this would not be an ideal second career for me! This blog that you're reading, that so many of you have followed to see our daily lives, serves as a portfolio for my writing and a portfolio of my daycare career, my life as a parent, and most importantly, a recording of our family. 

Because one simple piece of advice stuck with me since eighth grade, I have been able to build a second career as a freelance writer. Having more than one career can be hectic, especially when I have multiple projects that require my undivided attention (multi-tasking is a must in my life). I've learned many valuable lessons since my eyes have been opened to the freelance world. I have had to put on my business pants to go over contracts, because who wants to sign a bad deal? I have had to learn to negotiate pay and project guidelines. These are lessons that I wouldn't have otherwise. I doubt I'll ever be able to make this a full time career choice (unless I was comfortable with a huge pay cut, which, I'm not), but for now, it's just what I need and want.

Happy Birthday Blog!

Dear Blog,

Today you are three! Three years of opening doors, sharing our lives, making people laugh at our adventures, and giving parents/caregivers/teachers ideas to keep kids engaged and learning. In three years you've gained a following, you've got two kick ass business partners, and you continue to grow.

We celebrated your special day by toasting you (several times) with Moonshine and cupcakes from Cupcake Addict. Daycare even sang you a birthday song before diving into cake.

Blog, you have been one of the greatest decisions of my life. Not only do you give me/us a creative outlet, but you have become more than I ever thought you could. Keep up the good work! Can't wait to see what year 4 brings us!

Love,

Your Caretakers (Lauren and Ashlen)

Parenting Choices - What do you share online?

Today Ashlen and I are sharing our differing opinions on sharing our kids' names and faces on the blog, Facebook, etc.  Like so many parenting topics, there is a lot of passion and emotions involved in the topic of online exposure.  There are a few big issues that are important to me, but other than the biggies, I'm more of a 'you do you' kinda person.  For example, I worry about microwaving plastics so all of our leftover food containers are glass, but if you're all about rubbermaid or tupperware, that's fine!  You make the decisions that are best for you and your family, I make the best for me and mine.  While Ashlen and I may not fully agree on this (or other!) topics, we 100% agree that the other is making the best choice for their family.

Lauren's View:
In my few posts about my insanely awesome Bonus-Daughter, I haven't shared her name or face.  Don't get me wrong, it is a super cute face!   But I've blurred, obscured, or cropped out her face from the photos I've shared here, choosing not to identify her on the blog.  Sure, it wouldn't quite take CSI-level sleuthing to figure out her identity, but our blog Terms of Use hopefully encourages people from sharing.  I'd like to take this post to share why I'm not sharing her identity on the blog.

• She's sixteen.  Remember sixteen?  Not exactly the easiest of the teenage years.  I'm just grateful social media wasn't around when I was in high school!  Her peers (friendly and otherwise) could easily find the blog, read posts about our personal trips, etc.  How awkward could it be if her classmates or teachers tried to chat up about the specific snacks we had on our road trip last spring break?  
• Hopefully she'll have a summer job this year, and so many employers search social media before hiring anyone.  Her social media presence should probably reflect her, not her wicked stepmother.
• Stranger Danger.  One of my secret talents is to worry about EVERYTHING.  As in, home alarm with panic button, iPhone's Find My Friend's activated, etc.  If sharing her identity welcomed any unwanted attention from some crazy person, it would be really hard to remove her presence online, ya know?
• I'm not her mom.  I love this kid like crazy, and have known her since she was six, but if her mom wants to blog her identity all day and night, that's between her and her mom and dad.

Would my opinion change if I had a child?  Hard to say.  I LOVE seeing photos Ashlen's crew's adventures, but totally respect a close friend who has zero photos of their son online.  Would I use a nickname?  or just not show their face?  Maybe only show their face for the first few years until grade school?  I can't really put myself in that mindset, ya know?  IF that were to happen, I think my husband and I would figure out an approach that works for us.  In the meantime, I stand by my decision for what to share and not share for my Bonus Daughter, and respect the opinions of anyone who feels otherwise.

Ashlen's View:

As everyone knows, I show my children's faces on the blog, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. I share their stories and stories about me parenting them. I know it may be shocking, but I don't share absolutely everything about them. Embarrassing stories, their schools, and I absolutely will not show any daycare child's faces (unless cleared by their parent(s)). I have a few reasons for my "being an open book" status:

• This blog is a joint venture. Not just between Lauren and I, but also our families. My kids take part in the activities, photo shoots, and story ideas. I ask THEIR permission before I tell a certain story or share any picture. If they weren't okay with it, I wouldn't think twice about not posting something. My kids and I talk a lot about everything. I'm not sure how much of everything they understand at seven, five, and three, but they understand enough to tell me what a blog is and what we're doing for the blog.
• I view the blog as not only an opportunity for me, but for them as well. As they get older I fully intend to let them write blog posts and whatever else they'd like to take part in. My kids are creative and I think it's pretty cool that we can share creative outlets for now. We wrote a book together, they give me blog post ideas, they ask to take pictures and do things for the blog. I mean, how many kids can search for themselves on Amazon and be listed as authors??? 
• Am I worried about Stranger Danger? Yes of course! Luckily, I think we've got some pretty fantastic readers who have yet (and hopefully don't) make things feel creepilicious. Also, I've got Lauren to look over my posts to make sure we don't divulge too much personal info such as where the kids attend school. our home address (yes, I nearly accidentally gave this away in a post! Oops!), etc. 
• Will my opinion change as my kids get older? Possibly and their's might too. I already feel some of the content that happens in my home isn't content appropriate for the blog. Not because it's inappropriate, but because I highly doubt it's something my children are going to want to see on the internet when they're sixteen. I try to keep that in mind.

If there ever comes a time when my kids ask me to stop telling their personal stories (and there's been a few so far) or taking their pictures, I will stop everything, have a discussion with them, and respect their wishes. My mindset at the moment is 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.' For now, we're thoroughly enjoying all of the adventures the blog offers us and the numerous opportunities, and the support we get from our audience.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Whatever your decision is on this subject, we trust that we are doing what is best for you and your family just as we are. 

5 Years Later

I usually don't pay much attention to the Facebook memories that is at the top of my newsfeed every morning. However, when I came across this post I had a 'wow' moment.

That post from 2011 really did start it all. That post started my daycare, started my business (and in relation, all of my businesses--this site, my books), and started a career path that I never dreamed about. I promise this won't be a post about how my businesses began or how I never thought I'd be where I am today. I've written enough of those already. No, this is a 5 years later kind of post. A this is where I was and this is where I am type.

When I started my in-home daycare I didn't know how it would work out. I didn't know if it was something I would continue doing (spoiler alert: I've kept at it). I didn't even know if I would like it. I honestly didn't know if I could love someone else's child(ren) as my own. Turns out I can. A lot. When I say I have three kids I laugh because I spend just as much time worrying about the kids I take care of as I do my own.

When I first started daycare, our play area was the extra room in the house. Most of our days were spent in that little room because I was unsure about having the play area in our main living area. That extra room is now kid #3's room and the play room is also our main living area. Oh, and I love it. I don't have very many "grown up things" around my house, but it's safe. I don't have to worry about something breaking because it's all kid proof. I can actually walk out of the room without worrying (too much). I still use baby gates and consider it exercise when I hurdle over them each day.

I didn't fully know about sensory activities, scheduled activities, or the ins and outs of childcare my first few months of daycare. I let my "original four" be my guide and learned and grew with them. I've spent countless hours reading books, attending seminars, meeting with provider groups, and researching things from the best baby products to toys to meals.

I can now open up my cupboards any day of the week and whip up a sensory activity. I do this thing called lesson planning (shameless plug, we sell them in our shop!).  I still spend countless hours (still) researching, coming up with activities to do, and what each age group of children can learn from that activity. Then I write about it.

I didn't know that five years later I would be considered an "expert" in daycare and parenting. Some days that scares the crap out of me because a lot of my "expertise" is trying it, sometimes failing, sometimes not, mostly winging the every day, but willing to talk about my experiences. Sometimes I think it's cool, sometimes I'm honored, and other times I'm absolutely dumbfounded by others interest in the day to day of our lives.

I had no idea that opening a daycare would also lead to more and more doors opening. Who knew that by opening a daycare, I'd get sooo many requests for an inside look at my daycare that I'd start a blog? Who knew that by starting a blog I would take up writing once again and begin writing for major online sites? Who knew that I'd grow my blog into a business and gain a kick ass business partner? Who knew that writing the blog would encourage me to write children's books? Who knew that opening my own business would make me a leader and an Influencer in motherhood and childcare? Who knew that I would gain financial freedom by starting my own businesses?

A lot has changed in the five years since I began daycare. It all started with one simple post on Facebook. It goes to show how one simple thing can lead to things I could never dreamed of.

January Weekend

We've gotten fairly lazy with these winter weekends. My goal for the winter was to try out a few new things, but keep things calm and not over schedule our weekends. So far I've kept to that goal. On Saturday we lunched, we painted at Glazed Expressions (our "big" outing for the weekend), ran errands, and did some extra shopping. On Sunday we did nothing (other than some website work). We thought about going ice skating, but instead we lounged at home, cleaned bedrooms, and cooked food for our busy week.

Lauren and I have been working hard on the website. Some people play on Friday nights, I work. For now. Someday I'll have my Friday nights back.

Saturday morning cuddles. These two were cuddle buddies all weekend long.

Lunch at a local Mexican restaurant. Our rule for the meal was we all had to try something new.

Our next stop was Glazed Expressions. We went here last year for my birthday and loved it. It's a bit pricey so we made a deal to only go once a year. Last year we painted a platter and made a candle. This year we all painted a coffee mug. Each mug was painted very uniquely. 

The kids did a great job with their mugs.

After painting, this cute girl and I went dress shopping for an upcoming family Valentine's dance we'll be attending. Then we all went to Target. We found some excellent clearance items, including (but totally not limited at) new quilts, blankets, and bed sheets for the minis.

Our Saturday night was obviously as wild as our Friday night.

Sunday was a lot of napping, relaxing, football and X-Files watching, playing, laundry folding, and cooking. It may not have been a day running around town, but it was nicely spent.

So, in short, winter = time at home and lots of relaxing. We're saving our energy for spring.