Wednesday, November 20, 2013

It Feels Like One of Those Nights....

Where the kids will be in bed early, even if they're not tired. This afternoon/evening is one of those times when the kids are, as Matt and I say, "on it."  They are on the top of their game, meaning one or more steps ahead of me. It started as soon as big H got home from school. I went through his backpack and discovered: a pile of leaves, packaging for boys boxer briefs, 3 small bags of M & M's, a marker, a foam pumpkin he decorated,  and 1 mini pumpkin. Right because that's normal. His teachers probably think we're insane. The rest of my afternoon went something like this:

Looked in Max's backpack and discovered birthday party invites and 2 pockets FULL of gummy bears. What. In. The. Hell. When I asked where he got the gummy bears, he said he didn't know.

Max screamed at Harrison "you better play my way or you're outta this family!" To which Harrison threw a play barn across the floor.

Elizabeth woke up from her nap by squeezing Sophie the Giraffe for literally ten minutes straight. When I went in to get her, she stopped, laid down, and acted like she was still asleep.

I made Matt lemon poppy seed muffins because the last time I made them the kids ate them all before he got one. I also made the kids special chocolate chip muffins so they didn't go after his. Yea, they're still eating his. That plan didn't work out so well.

Screaming. Lots and lots of screaming. And "noooooooooo!!!" happening as the three minis slap each other.

Time out suddenly means a free pass to walk around naked. WTF???!!?

Elizabeth spent 40 minutes trying to bite my legs as she walked around following me. When I told her "no bite!" she pouted her bottom lip, put her face in her hands, and cried huge tears. She's got this 'I'm a girl' thing down.

Whining. Almost as much whining as screaming.

I got called a "poopy butt" eight times in a twenty minute time span. The boys got a timeout for calling me "poopy butt" and then proceeded to whisper "poopy butt mommy" from time out. As if I can't hear. When I told them I could hear them, I was told I "was hearin' things."

Don't splash means flooding the bathroom, just in case there was confusion for anyone else.

Elizabeth ate diaper cream....and I totally let her because I have had enough of the screaming. It said it contained vitamins, so I figured double score: no screaming and she's getting vitamins.

Max informed Harrison he "talked too loud." To which Harrison yelled (loud enough for me to hear from outside) "I do not! I'm a quiet boy."

When I made the comment that we should have our own tv show because people would totally pay for our chaos, Max replied "how much of that pay will be mine. I'm looking into getting my own phone." I walked away calmly so I didn't lose my shit.

Max and Harrison planned their next birthday party because their "birthday's are coming up." Yes, coming up next June. We'd better get our butt's in gear.

I feel defeated. I'm literally running out the door the minute hubs pulls in the driveway tonight. It's just one of those nights....

1 comment :