Friday, August 6, 2021

To All You Who Are Like Me

 To all you who are like me: 

I feel you. You aren't sure if you're too cautious or not cautious enough. You're unsure of where to stand, what is okay, and what is frowned upon. Are we hugging? Should I go to a small gathering? Or do I say fuck-it and attend a place with thousands of people?

I just don't know. Is there a "right" answer in all of this? I don't know how to be. If I listen to the news, it's the end of the world. If I listen to my neighbor, it's all a ruse. Is it no longer okay to just be in the middle? A little of this, a little of that. That's where I've found myself all of my life. I understand the gray; life is rarely black and white with me. For all those people there with me, I feel you. I may not always agree with you, but I'll never judge you.

So, here we are. In a place I predicted we'd be, but hoped we wouldn't. I feel like we've had to change our life completely the past year and half. We haven't gone back to "normal" and we won't be able to until it's all over. Watching others all around us move on as though nothing is happening cuts deep. I try to not let it sting, but sometimes. Sometimes, on days like today, when I have to delicately balance my leadership roles vs. my own personl feelings, the stinging hurts worse. If I were a child, my first reaction would be to stomp my foot, shouting, "this isn't fair!!!" 

And it's not. None of it is. My belief in karma and that positive vibes released into the world will come back around is what's getting me through. For all of those who are getting through with the uptmost positivity you can muster, I'm doing it too. I raise my glass to you and the frustration you feel right now.