A Big Career Decision

The wonderful thing about being thirty nine is that I know myself. I know what I need, what makes me happy, what ignites my passions, and I'm comfortable with all of it. Sometimes I surprise myself, but for the most part, I know myself well. At many points in my life I would apologize when my passion would scare or offend people. Now I know to surround myself with individuals who support and encourage me. As a mother, I've figured out how to either include my children in my passions and make them a part of it, or when I needed to do things on my own.

A highlight for me was figuring out how to be the mom I wanted to be and run a business by making my children a focal point of my business model, thus my daycare business boomed. For twelve years I drew inspiration from my career.  That inspiration spawned other career highlights for me such as this very blog, freelance writing, and becoming an author. However, as children do, my own kids grew. Their needs changed, my mom role evolved, and I was suddenly taking off just as many days as I worked. Around this time, I was inspired by new challenges that arose.

For the last six years, I've been an active board member at the Des Moines Children's Museum (which is also a career highlight for me). The unique thing about this role is that we have been a working board. For six years I planned every event, attempted to hit fundraising goals, and failed marvelously at networking. I was thrilled to have a space that also shared my passion to have children learn through play. At this time last year I sat at a board meeting where we discussed how the Museum was growing and what was needed. I had an idea; I knew this idea to be a large undertaking for myself, but I figured, 'why not?' This idea was in the form of a monthly, Friday night program where we would try new and different things. One month was Games From Around The World, while another was a dance, and another was all about flowers. I knew I could do it because these are literally things I would do with my daycare. I loved when I could intertwine the two with my ideas reaching more children in our community. 

I will note at this time, that one year later, our Try Days will be no longer because they didn't bring in as many people as we had hoped. However, these Days did more for me personally than I realized until I sat down to write this. You see, while I showed up and shared these ideas with whoever else showed up, as the months went on, I grew increasingly frustrated because I couldn't network or get fundraising or whatever because of my full time job. By the beginning of this year, I realized my focus was changing. I was, and still am, passionate about daycare; stellar, affordable daycare where children learn through play. I am equally as passionate about following my passions, letting my ideas take the lead.

As I sat in the quiet on a January morning, I put finishing touches on another children's book and sent texts about more ideas I had for my other ventures, my mind began to wander. I knew a change was needed. For myself, for my growing children, for my sanity because there was no way in hell I could spend another school year wondering how my children were getting to and from school. If I'm perfectly honest, my initial plans (years and years ago) were to close daycare when my youngest started kindergarten. Of course, life is fun and throws curveballs. Here I was, that youngest child in her last year in elementary school and heading into middle school. I was still in a career I loved and I don't think I'll ever stop loving it. But on that quiet January morning, I updated my resume. I had no clue what I was going to do with it though. A quick skim of job searches left me thinking, 'oh hell no.'

Later that same day, I broke out my computer to send an email for the Children's Museum, thinking about how I could have gotten this done a week ago if this was my job....wait, what if this was my job? Two weeks later, some research, and basically creating a job I knew would check all my boxes, I submitted a job proposal to the Board of Directors, excusing myself from the board discussions of it all (obviously, because clearly I would hire myself). Two months and some job description changes later, I accepted the position of Programs and Events Director at the Des Moines Children's Museum, beginning at the end of August of this year.

Cue all of the emotions. I was a ball of nerves breaking the news to my daycare families, many of whom have been with me for all twelve years I've been open. Some days I'm elated and feel like I could have began the job yesterday. Other days, I stop and think how much I'll miss these daycare days. Sometimes I'm nervous and uneasy, what if I misread myself this time and life is throwing another curve ball? In this precise moment, I'm enjoying the last few days/weeks of my business before life changes. I'm taking in all of the moments, the good, bad, and crazy, and locking each moment away in my brain for when I need them.

I can't say I would have made this move at this time if my children's needs weren't changing, but I do know change is good. I enjoy challenges, learning new things, and letting my ideas fly. All of the emotions are with me as I head into my final days as a daycare provider of my own daycare business. I feel as though I'm reinventing myself when I step into my new career. Who knows where this next road will lead me, but I am ready to find out.

Notes From A Daycare Provider: Check Your Insurance Policy And Know It

 A dozen years in the childcare business and I'm still learning new things. Whatever the kids throw at me is old hat at his point. Nothing surprises me much anymore on that front. However, I was thrown for a loop when a fellow daycare provider mentioned something that I had never once thought to check or ask about.

As with many people, I belong to Facebook groups, two of which are daycare provider groups. One is local and one is geared toward providers in North America. It's through the second group that I learned about Canada's childcare laws and have been made aware of the laws in neighboring states, federal early childhood education grants for daycares, and many other useful tips. It's been a fantastic resource and a more positive vibe than other groups I've come across.

Over the weekend I was in the weekly chat. I mostly enjoy reading rather than contributing. A provider in Texas was upset because of how long she's had to be closed due to the weather there. Someone asked her about reopening and she mentioned that her insurance won't allow her to be open if surrounding school districts are closed due to liability insurance. This sparked a plethora of questions on the topic. She schooled all of us in her insurance policy and why being open in severe weather is a liability. This got me thinking, do I have such a policy written into the liability portion of my policy? I had to pull up my records and look right then.

Sure enough, I DO!

Not one person, insurance agent or otherwise, had ever mentioned this portion of the liability insurance. I found this new bit of information a tad concerning with a side of many questions. We live in Iowa. We get severe weather threats year round. Am I supposed to close every time there's a chance of severe weather? Am I supposed to call for immediate pick ups any time there's impending weather? We've had thunderstorms that led to derechos suddenly come through. What do I do then? Is it only limited to when our school district is closed or is it all severe weather? I had many, many questions. I wanted to call right away to ask for clarification because as with most important documents, it was too vague.. I held back from calling due to my past actions.

I didn't want to raise red flags with my questions when I've been open in snowstorms before. Heck, I used to throw snow parties on days school was canceled and parents still had to work! Those are honestly some of my favorite memories from daycare. However, experience taught me that I actually should close when the weather is bad. I've had the pleasure of children getting stuck at daycare and bundling kids in blankets so their parents could walk them to their vehicles parked blocks away because they couldn't get through on the snow covered roads. That has liability written all over it (she says with wide eyes). Thinking back on it all, I'm really lucky nothing terrible happened and that my families are 1,000% amazing.

Thankfully I did change my policies in 2020 when Covid brought work from home and daycare had low attendance on bad weather days. I now close when our school district is closed due to any weather related incident. Going through my policies also made me note that there is a safety note in there as well; meaning that if our local school district is closed for a safety reason within a certain radius of daycare, I must close as well. I knew parts of that piece, but not the entire thing. It was a real, 'the more you know' scene.

The conversation in the Facebook group was a reminder of the importance of knowing your insurance policy and following it. Even if parents complain, it's better than a fine, losing your insurance, or worse yet, being told to close all because of not following your insurance policy. Not one person or insurance agent ever pointed out this section in my liability portion and I'm damn lucky nothing happened because of my negligence. Bottom line: daycare providers, know your stuff. It would be a wise decision to put a paragraph or two in your daycare contract and handbook. That way families know ahead of time what could happen. And parents, if your daycare has to close for a reason you don't understand, ask about it and show grace because it's likely just as inconvenient for your daycare provider to close as it is to call off of work or find drop in care.

Notes From A Daycare Provider: Red Flags and Facebook Posts

Anyone else sometimes get onto Facebook just to look at the comment sections of some posts? Slowly raises hand over here. Actually, I don't do it much anymore because some of those comments terrify me. Sometimes I want to overlook the sheer stupidity of others. Yesterday I came across a post that I couldn't help but read the comments. Then I saw this post again this morning, read even more comments, felt that familiar sick feeling, closed up my computer, and thought about how the lack of communication between provider and parents can affect the quality of care a child receives. 

I'm going to share a screenshot of the post, no comments because I'm going to dissect each issue for the audience here. A fair warning, I am looking at this through the eyes of both the provider AND as a parent.

As you can see, especially at first glance, there are so many red flags. There are some downright illegal things in the post, however, it's not just the provider that is given the red flags. Admittedly, there is vital information needed that is missing from the post, that can only come from the parent or provider. First off, it is a parent's job to ask questions, be informed, and always communicate an issue before letting things spiral out of control. Let's take a look at each issue, from the provider and parent point of view.

- The AAP and the NHTSA say a child should stay rear facing until three years old. However, the state we're in (Iowa) says a child only has to be one year old OR above the weight for forward facing based on the car seat manufacturers guidelines. That means that if you're nine month old weighs enough to be forward facing, you can switch them from RF to FF. I'm not saying I agree with Iowa law or with the provider for FF, but by law, the provider did nothing wrong unless a parent or guardian can prove (with physical evidence) the provider had the child FF before the weight or age limit was reached. Now, it's unknown if the parent ever asked the provider to RF their child instead of FF. Red flags for both parties.

- No contract? That's risky business for both the provider and the parent. If the parent was uncomfortable with it, then their child should have never been sent in the first place. If the parent got into care for a few weeks and realized the importance of a contract, they could have written one up themselves or pulled a free one from the internet if the provider didn't want to do it. If the provider refused, the parent could pull their child immediately with no repercussions because....no contract. All of that said, I absolutely do not agree with the provider's choice to not have a contract. Even simple guidelines for parents to sign can go a long way. Red flags for both parties.

- A fourteen year old watching children? For how long? At what point in the day? Has this child been CPR certified? Met all of the parents? Likely, due to the fact that the parent is paying by CCA, this provider is registered which means the entire household should have had a background check (children included). Iowa changed their laws so a minor as young as sixteen can be by themselves with a group of children in a childcare setting. Obviously, this minor is younger than that, but if the minor has been cleared by the state, then it is okay for that minor to be around and help out with daycare, but not be completely left alone with the children. The post doesn't answer any questions I asked above, which would be my big ones as a parent. As a provider, I would never in a million years leave my entire daycare with my fourteen year old. He knows every single parent, knows CPR, and has taken care courses, but I still wouldn't do it. Of course, I did leave him with a child that was staying late and I had to take my other child to an activity in the evening. I had parent permission before doing so and my fourteen year old had also babysat for this family before. I was gone for a total of ten minutes and was completely comfortable doing this, as was the parent. I would not do this for all families, nor would I ask my fourteen year old to continuously do my job. Red flags for the provider if the child is being left completely alone. If not, then no flags.

- This provider is obviously registered if she is accepting CCA (the only way to accept CCA is by being registered with the state), which means there are nutritional guidelines that must be followed. I would not be thrilled with constant fast food for my kid, but unfortunately, depending on if the provider is serving sides with it, a Happy Meal or Chick Fil A kids meal hits all of the guidelines. No red flags.

- Copays and how much CCA (childcare assistance) pays is between the parent and CCA and the provider and CCA. The provider can charge whatever they want. Let's say the provider charges $300 per week (per child). CCA says they pay $50 a week to the provider based on what the parent qualifies for (which is unknown to the provider, by the way). It is up to the parent to cover the rest of the cost of care or they can lose their CCA. If CCA refuses to pay the provider, then it is up to the parent to pay. The parent needs to know what CCA is covering and what they aren't. However, a contract between the provider and parent would solve all payment issues. Red flags for the parent.

- In my eleven and a half years in business, I have never once heard of a special needs waiver....and I have special needs kids in my care. After researching it a bit, as a parent I would never sign this unless I spoke to my child's pediatrician and I would question the provider up and down about it. More information is needed, but the request seems sketchy and somewhat illegal. Huge red flags for the provider.

- Sleeping in a bouncer is NOT safe sleep practices. I would absolutely flip out if I found out my child was only provided a bouncer for sleeping. Then, I thought about it more and I have questions. This child is one. I most definitely have had one year olds want to sleep weird places and I've had them fall asleep in highchairs, on the floor in the middle of their toys, halfway under a coffee table. It is unclear if this was a one time thing or if that's where the child sleeps all of the time while at daycare. If that's what is provided for the child to sleep in, that is 1,000% not okay. However, before beginning childcare, a parent should ask and see where their child will be napping, playing, any area of the home accessible to daycare honestly should be parent approved. If a pack n play, cot, nap mat, etc. wasn't shown, I would (kindly) remind the provider about safe sleep practices and ask if I could provide an approved napping item (as mentioned above). Red flags for the provider.

- If you receive any kind of assistance from the state or federal government, you never once share those benefits with others. It is fraud and illegal. Red flags for the provider.

- It is completely normal for parents to provide formula, snacks, diapers, wipes, milk, food, clothes, or anything a child needs throughout the day. Granted, most of this is covered in my daily rate, but I know several providers and centers in my area that have began requiring parents to provide meals and snacks for their children as a way to combat inflation without raising their rates. It's smart and beneficial for all involved. If your provider asks for something, don't hesitate to provide it. That said, I find it easier to provide nearly everything myself, but that's my personal preference. I have enough to worry about other than keeping track of every child's things. A contract would really help a parent know what is required of them. No red flags for anyone, but definite faults for lack of communication between the two parties and for the parent for not knowing ahead of time what is included in their rate.

* Personal opinion: for what this particular provider is charging, everything should be included though!

- Again a contract would be incredibly useful for knowing about their child's day and what they would be doing. If the provider had prior approval to take kid's off of the premises, is comfortable going places with numerous children, has a safe vehicle and appropriate insurance, appropriate car seats for everyone, I would be thrilled my children were getting out and about each day. If the provider failed to get permission to take the child in a vehicle or even leave the daycare premises, then that is illegal. However, the post makes it seem like the parent simply didn't know the daycare routine. The provider should provide this ahead of a child even beginning care and a parent should ask. No red flags, faults for the parent for not knowing or not being comfortable with it and sending child anyway. If the provider did not get permission from the parent, red flags because taking a child off of a premises without permission is illegal.

- A lost sippy cup? Just one? Dude, I can't tell you how many sippy cups have been lost here. The best is when the missing cup turns up months later with curdled milk in it (sarcasm because I will never forget that smell as long as I live). If the provider is taking the kids out every day, as suggested above, the child could have easily chucked it out of the stroller for fun, left it anywhere in this world quite honestly. I wouldn't question it because I've lost more than sippy cups. I've sent children home without socks and shoes because they shoved them somewhere and I didn't see. Those usually turn up eventually. I've sent kids home in other kid's clothes because of a mix up after sprinkler time. Shit happens at daycare. My advice is to not send your kid in anything meaningful or worth a lot of money because everything that comes into a daycare has the ability to get destroyed or lost. Red flags for the parent because if I had a parent worried about that, I'd probably tell them we are definitely not a good fit.

- A full diaper is a topic I see a lot amongst parents and providers. As a provider, it bothers me so much when I send a child home in a full diaper. I try, really try, to have fresh diapers on all the kids before sending them home. Of course, sometimes kids pee at really inconvenient times. I've had kids that fill a diaper the moment they walk into daycare or the minute a parent arrives. However, it should not be an every day thing. As a parent, if I were really concerned my child wasn't being changed, I'd mark the diaper I put my child in before daycare and check to see if it's a new diaper after pick up. If I noticed my child hadn't been changed all day long, I'd say something to the provider immediately, especially if the parent is providing diapers. Red flags for the provider.

All of this these issues come down to communication. As a parent, it's your job to protect and speak for your child(ren). The parent should be asking questions to the provider, helping to solve any issues, not complaining to a friend who then posts on Facebook for them. In this case, the lack of communication affected the care the parent thought their child should be receiving and what the provider was doing. It could be as simple as this parent and provider are not a good fit, although in this case, if everything from the social media post is true, there are several illegal practices on the provider's part. Some of this could have been prevented if the parent was well informed, asked the appropriate questions before care even began, and communicated effectively with the provider. If I were this parent, I would speak with the provider, pull my child, and report the above red flags to the state (especially the illegal actions of the provider).

Then again, the biggest red flag of all was the comment section of the post. People felt entitled to ask the provider's name, address, and information, so they could blast them on social media and/or report them to the state. Here's a tip: the state will do nothing with your report because it didn't happen to you or your child. I can understand maybe wanting to get the daycare's name out there because of poor care or to warn others, however, nothing has been proven! I strongly feel the parent is a tad daycare naïve and doesn't have the proper expectations when it comes to daycare life. There was negligence on both the provider's and parent's part, but the power of social media cannot be overlooked. This one post has the power to destroy someone's business and name (which, if there was a contract, a quick paragraph about slander would protect both parties) with absolutely no basis other than a post from a third party who is not directly involved. I'm more interested in hearing directly from the parent before fully judging the provider. 

Don't Serve The Kids THAT Sauce

While in Chicago we ate at Orso's and ordered a penne pasta with a wonderful vodka sauce. The minis fell in love with the sauce and asked for me to make vodka sauce. With it being the holiday season, I haven't exactly had an abundance of time, so I offered to buy a canned vodka sauce instead. So, one day at lunch I made a vegetable penne pasta and added the vodka sauce.

My kids were thrilled until I went to serve the daycare kids their lunch. The nine year old stopped me and said, "Mom! Don't give the kids sauce with alcohol in it! They can't have vodka!" I stared at her through a fit of giggles as I needed a minute to get my thoughts together.

For one, she's nine. Her brothers are eleven and thirteen. What made her think they could have vodka sauce, but the younger daycare kids couldn't? Did she forget that they are in fact kids as well? For another, did she really think I was actually serving them alcohol with their lunch??? I had more questions than answers on this one, but I did find it adorable how the bigs look out for littles with anything and everything. I'm overlooking how little faith they seem to have in me, though!

Watching Kids Play

 I love many aspects of my job and business, hich is why I'm still at it nearly eleven years later. One of my favorite things is to simply observe the children playing. I spend 95% of my days doing this because that way I can help them talk through/use their words with problems that arise, correct them quickly if I see anything that may be unsafe or hurt another, and simply observing their behaviors in general helps me know how they learn, which helps them to listen to directions. On this particular day, I watched a three year old and a two and a half year old play with play phones. These play phones are conveted at daycare because they're old cell phones, so they look real to the kids. 

These two kiddos play great together. They're in the same stages, play much the same way, and their communication abilities are on par with one another. So you can imagine how much I had to stifle my laughter as I watched this play out:

"Hello!? Hello? Can you hear me?"

"Hello? I'm here! Can you hear me??" Child changes positions. "Can  you hear me now?"

"I can't hear you very well. Can you hear me? I'm here. Don't hang up!"

"Can you hear me? NOW can you hear me? Hello? Hello? I'm here!"

This continued on for a good ten minutes, all while they stood next to each other, shouting into their play phones. I felt like I was stuck in a Verizon commercial! Scenes like this are one of the many things that make this job worth it to me. Plus, it's easy entertainment.

Now We're Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

We are back. Life continues as "normal," or at least what has become our normal. We have a few weeks before pictures of mountains, roads, and oddities fill the feeds. A few normal weeks. We're getting into activities, seeing family and friends, and getting ready for our longest road trip adventure yet. This week is all about getting into a routine, figuring out one that works for all of us (daycare included), and settling in.

It's been years since I've had a young group of daycare kiddos. I've had bigs around for 18+ months. Through the virtual learning, homeschooling, and summer months, the bigs have been a HUGE help with the littles. From learning how to change diapers, to helping wash hands, to wiping dirty tables, to cleaning up messy activities, they've been around to eagerly lend a hand. I've been beyond lucky, so on this Friday night, I find myself tired.

Tired because I forgot what it's like to do every little thing myself for nearly ten hours a day. Yes, there are a few bigs around and they do help out (without me ever asking, usually), but not every moment of the day as they had been the last year and a half. It's an adjustment. I really miss the conversations with them, hearing their thoughts and worries. I truly love the young stages of the kiddos I have, but it's a lot of physical work!

So, I'm settling in. Adjusting to this season of life and using a heating pad on my back while I'm at it!

The House Is Quiet Once Again

 

For the first time since March 2020, my house is quiet. There are zero bigs in the house at the moment, only littles, who are so much more quiet than their slightly older counterparts. I shouldn't say zero bigs because my three minis are still home (homeschool lessons won't begin until after Labor Day), but there aren't any big friends here doing school work or playing. Today. That will change, as they just happen to not be here today. But that's not the point.

The point is it's quiet. I can hear when the littles roll a train across the carpet. This is such a change from screaming being drowned out by the overall noise from the bigs. It's odd, to say the least. It wasn't just the summer. I've had bigs in my house learning, playing, socializing, doing big kid stuff for the last 18 months. To not have them running through my house isn't just odd, it's sad. It's something I'll have to slowly accustom myself to.

Nap times can run smoothly once again, there's no one talking over me as I try to give directions, no one asking if we can order pizza (right after we've eaten lunch), I can play Van Morrison without someone asking me if we can play another song that's better. This brings me all the feels and mixed emotions. One of the things I'm really excited for: to do story time again. The bigs took over story times for me for the last eighteen months, so I'm greatly looking forward to reading Go, Dog. Go! and Oh, The Places You'll Go! without someone "helping" me. But the quiet that is filling my house reminds me of the absence of more special humans in my house. Even as I try to enjoy the quiet, the emptiness of the house chokes me.

Being A Small Business Owner In A Pandemic Is Hard

Accidental selfie in the car waiting for a to-go order. After a year and a half of dealing with a pandemic and owning a business, I can't quite muster up the energy to deal with the public.

Owning a business right now plainly....sucks. Right now meaning in a pandemic. A pandemic that has not been deemed as over, we're still in it, experiencing surges. We're a year and half into this and I still spend time looking over the newest and ever-chaning recommendations and guidelines. Unlike other businesses, I don't have a choice of doing nothing. 

As with many small business owners during this pandemic, I've had to stop and think about every avenue. Every avenue that could lead to a permanent business closure. They're scary thoughts considering this is my livelihood, it's what I've built for over 10 years. The possibility of having it ripped away is heartbreaking. 

I'm not going to go into detail about how or why I would be forced to close the doors of my business. If I ignore all guidance and guidelines, my doors can close forever. That's not a choice I'm willing to make, so my business still abides by all Covid "rules" that were in a place a year ago. I'm lucky because I haven't had a single person question my Covid rules. I tend not to share my luck with others because many business owners are less fortunate. When I choose to check into social media, I'm disgusted at how people are treating business owners.

Many of them have experienced push back from costumers on all things: masks, new hours, lack of staff, etc. Businesses are overwhelmed right now. If you choose to ignore the pandemic, people come out of the woodwork to tell you you're doing it wrong. If you choose to "follow the rules," people come out of the woodwork to tell you you're doing it wrong. There is a rarely a happy medium. People are impossible to please and businesses are suffering. I know many people who chose to walk away from their businesses instead of conform to what people are demanding right now.

Owning a business of any kind is hard. Owning and operating a business during a pandemic is hard, if not nearly impossible. Please be nice, kill owners and workers with kindness. The pandemic is rough in all the ways. Some are barely getting through it all. Remember that the next time your order isn't correct at your favorite restaurant, a business has to close early or have an extended closure due to Covid, hours change, or the services a business offers changes. 

I can't believe I have to use an entire blog post to remind people to think of business owners and how the pandemic has affected businesses, but here we are. I have used that line for everything in the last year and a half. Here we are. Do better. Be considerate. Life is hard for a lot of people still, including small business owners. I can guarantee you they don't want to spend their day off thinking of and reviewing new policies and guidelines. Yet they don't have a choice. 

No Syrup Ever Again

 

Pictured: pancakes from our Pancake Bar, which somehow, did not involve syrup getting everywhere around my house.

Monday mornings require pancakes. Or some other delectable food offering to start the week, but today was pancakes. Obviously one of the most preferred pancake toppings is syrup. I've served pancakes with syrup a thousand times, but today, the kids must have made it their mission to get syrup everywhere but their pancakes.

Naturally, some spilled on the counter. Whatever. It wasn't until the kids were done that syrup turned up in some weird spots: splattered across the kitchen floor, on the bottom of a sock and in between two toes still inside the sock, underneath an armpit of a fully clothed child, inside an ear, tracked across the hallway, along the hallway wall (that leads into the bathroom), and then my favorte, on the top of a child's eyelid. I was in charge of pouring each child's syrup, so it's not like they were given an abundance of syrup. I actually gave them very little!

But judging how much syrup was found across my house and on body parts, you would have thought the sensory activity for the week was a pool of syrup! It's not, just for the record. It's a flower sensory bin with rice....that stuck to the children's feet that were covered in syrup. Basically, my fun morning breakfast turned into a cleaning spree for me....cleaning that I had just done last night. Happy, happy, Monday. I can't wait to see what else this week will surprise me with!

"Are We Going To Have A Derecho Again?"

 This is the third time since the beginning of summer break that I was asked about last summer's derecho. If you don't know what a derecho is, well let me tell you. It's an inland hurricane that leaves a lot of destruction. Last summer, on a Monday in August, in the final weeks of summer vacation, we had one plow through. A tree was centimeters away from crushing our house, we lost power for a full week, we spent three days cleaning up and chaining sawing trees, I had to close daycare until we had power and our street was passable. It was not my idea of a "good storm." 

It was quite the opposite. We haven't had high winds or a severe thunderstorm since then, but I honestly don't know how I'll handle it when we do. That day could have done so much more damage than it actually did and that is not lost on me one bit.

Cue this summer. On the first day of summer daycare, the kids started talking about the derecho and how they played in the basement. Yes, because that's exactly what happened. Then they excitedly spoke of the opossums they found in the rubble in the backyard after the storm. That made the highlight reel apparently. Then I was asked,

"Are we going to have a derecho again?" They have asked me this question this same way three times now. I answered no each time, but what gets me is that they're asking in a way that makes it sound like it was some daycare activity I had planned! Like it was so cool and they loved it, so why not do it again??!? Kids are so odd. What was one of the scariest days of my life was clearly a highlight for them!

What they remember:

What I remember:

Simple Best Days

The excitement of simple days means good naps!

There are MANY things you discover after having kids that no parenting books go over. One of these things is how hard kids can be on things. Your things, in particular. For the fourth time this year (yes, this year), the kids left the refrigerator door open, some part frosted over, and the refrigerator took 2 1/2 days to defrost and begin cooling properly. In an effort to keep the food from going bad (and to help thaw things out), we turned the freezer way down and moved the food we had in the freezer (which wasn't a lot) to the deep freeze in the basement. This was the perfect solution because I moved all of our fresh fruits and vegetables to the freezer, that was keeping the food just slightly colder than the refrigerator would have if the door hadn't been left open.

Now, I have a saying in my house: If it's not the husband, it's the kids. If it's not the kids, it's the cats. If it's not the husband, kids, or cats, it's the dog. If it's not the kids, cats, or dog, it's the husband. Well, this time it was the husband who so kindly turned up the freezer when he realized the refrigerator was cool again and everything had defrosted. He turned it up....without removing the food I had put in there. I'll simply say, unfrozen salad mix is gross.

So, here I am Friday at lunchtime and items for lunch were still frozen and our vegetables were disgusting. What does one do? 

We have the husband who inadvertedly ruined the food make a Chick Fil A run, declare it a "movie picnic" for lunch, and all is right. The kids claimed it was "the best Friday ever!" I love how a bump in the road and such simple things can make it the best day for kids. 

The Season of Goodbyes and Hellos

 

It's an emotional few weeks around here. Daycare gets to welcome back all of their older, school age friends for the summer. Those same kids who I potty trained, watched their first steps happen in our living room, listened to their laughter and gave them smooches through their tears. It's bittersweet to see them each summer. In the same breath, daycare says to goodbye to kids who will be home this summer and head to school in the fall. The goodbyes are just as bittersweet as the hellos. 

So if you see random tears in my eyes as I tell you about your child's day or I choose two bottles of wine instead of one this weekend or I need more than one (or two or three) cups of coffee, just assume I'm working through all the feels that come with the job. Every bit of it is rewarding, every bit of it is hard. 

I Am Not Okay Today

 You were going to be treated to a fun, educational post about helping preschoolers learn their letters, but my mind is elsewhere today. The state of life today is affecting me greatly. I've spent the last year keeping my business afloat, making sure my house, the location of my business, were safe for all who entered, thinking of my children's health and safety, and my husband's job. There were times I thought plenty about myself as well, I'm not completely unselfish. But overall, I've had three goals at the top of every day

1.  Keep my kids healthy and safe.
2.  Keep Covid out of daycare/from spreading/from extended closures.
3. Keep my husband working. ** He is considered an essential employee and must be at work. There is no work-at-home option for him. With my income loss in the last year, his job was essential to our family's lifestyle. Yes, he's been vaccinated, so the "rules" are a bit more lenient. Let's be real for a moment though. If he gets Covid (because just as with any vaccine, there are still small chances you can contract the virus), he has to miss work. We've taken the necessary steps to keep him healthy.

Today, I feel slapped in the face. Today I feel that every protection we have taken is gone and that our family, once again, must make sacrifices for others. This was done at 12:30 a.m. in the dark of the night, giving no one time to prepare or properly process:

You may be asking why I feel this way. My kids are homeschooled and I can still require masks to anyone who enters my home/daycare (private business; as far as I know, this new law doesn't affect my business, but that could change, which is a good part of why I feel the way I do). Well, you see, in two weeks, two weeks exactly, I will open my home to all of the kids who are no longer required to wear masks in their schools. I've worked with kids long enough to know that they're all coming from different cess pools. There's a MUCH greater chance of them bringing some of those germs with them to my home (unknowingly or knowingly, but does that really matter?). The three things I've fought so hard for that last year will be compromised. My livelihood is now compromised.

Kids are unvaccinated from Covid. They can spread it, they can get it. They can force 14 day closures upon my business that I DON'T GET PAID FOR. Imagine, if all 15 kids on my daycare roster were to get Covid and I had to close each and every time. I wouldn't be able to open my business all summer long! Masks are one way I can protect my business, my family, not to mention the very kids in my care AND their families. I run my business on good faith and what I would want in a daycare. Can I no longer run my business off the morals and ethics I have the last ten years? Worst off, there's a greater chance of passing it to my husband who would have to miss work. He would either have to use PTO or go unpaid. That vacation you're thinking of taking? My husband may not have that option for an entire year because of my business. I don't even want to think about if we BOTH have to take time off unpaid for an extended period of time.

This announcement just does me in. I'm not a pessimist by any means, but when I see local rights being taken away, I fear my rights as a business owner may be threatened. My own policies may not means anything. Those same policies that are in place to protect my own family and my daycare families. I spent a ridiculous amount of time making decisions and guidelines for my business that this needs more processing time. I feel like that time is coming (too soon) where I'll have to choose between a business I've spent ten years growing, a business that has shaped who I am and brought invaluable people into our lives and the well being of our family. To be completely truthful, this is where I'm at after a year of dealing with guidelines and bull shit.

When we sit in our hotel room this weekend, we'll be having the hard discussions about family, life, money, jobs, marriage, and goals. I wanted nothing more than a carefree weekend visiting one of my best friends and finally meeting her baby. Instead, Iowa is handing me a basket of crap to contemplate.

Welcome Back To Reality

It's not exactly easy to go from sledding down sand dunes to policies and guidelines.

Nothing like being slapped back into reality. Slapped hard at that. We spent the last ten days with no WiFi and limited accessibility to internet. When we did have the internet, I can assure everyone we were not checking the latest news or gossip on social media. We had no idea what local, national, or worldwide news was bringing. This is highly unusual for me and us as a family. It was refreshing though.

Of course, when we finally were able to catch up on a week's worth of news today, imagine my surprise when we learned of people putting gas in plastic bags (I don't even want to know what international news stations are saying about America right now), new CDC guidelines, and...oh, yeah, new Iowa Department of Health guidelines that go directly against CDC guidelines.

And just like that my vacation came to an end. I now get to spend my last day and a half of "vacation" working and securing my own business policies. That is NOT how I wanted to spend my last day of vacation. Sometimes being a business owner sucks. It's especially sucked bad during the pandemic. A lot of perks, like taking vacations whenever I want (and can afford them). But then there's that welcome back to reality afterwards that isn't always great.

11 Thoughts As I Do My Taxes

Not doing taxes, hiking through the woods. This makes me much happier than sorting through receipts.

 1.) I should buy stock in Ranch dressing. I bought a bottle every week from May - December.

2.) Do you need a Lego set? Don't bother with Target, we've got them all here.

3.) I can't wait until it's okay to use reusuable hand towels. I spent THOUSANDS of dollars just on paper towels for daycare. ** Using anything reusable currently is very frowned upon at the moment. That can be a mark against me if there happens to be a Covid outbreak at daycare.

4.) I wonder if I'll ever be questioned about the amount of glue I bought? ** for slime, just for the record.

5.) I bought 254 markers in April and May 2020. How were NONE of those working by October 2020?

6.) My water bill in the summer months 😒😓😝😲

7.) The cost of food, toys, art supplies, and office supplies have definitely risen since April 2020. 

8.) I worked shorter hours in 2020 than previous years, but I worked MORE hours in total because we couldn't take vacations, so I didn't take time off. ** Those shorter hours helped me keep my sanity and let me homeschool my children. I have THE BEST families for being understanding and making the school year work for me.

9.) I cannot remember what activity I bought 13 boxes of pudding for, but I KNOW it wasn't eaten (because no one in our house loves pudding that much). 

10.) Salt and shaving cream are filed under Arts and Crafts, just so you know. "You're told this every year Ashlen." And I forget every year. 

11.) I had three different hours operation hours in 2020. This makes calculating the time I spent on daycare/business outside of daycare hours nearly impossible. Along those same lines, why are we not allowed to write off homeschool things??!!? I essentially homeschooled AND daycared during May 2020 and September - December. I spent an absurd amount on office and art supplies FOR the kids.

Shit I have To Text Parents

  

A text I had to send to parents once upon a time. There's so many interesting things to happen in our days!

In the latest, Shit I Have To Text Parents edition, we had a state wide tornado drill Wednesday morning. Since we were already doing a tornado drill, we took the time to discuss our fire drill procedures and our lockdown procedures. There were A LOT of questions and concerns, such as: which sidewalk is our meeting place? The sidewalk in front of the neighbor's house or the "across the street sidewalk?" All legitament questions, but I also assumed the kids would think to go the sidewalk DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE. I was clearly mistaken.

Then there was the issue of what happens if all of the exits are blocked? We move to the windows, I replied cheerily. They were horrified I would possibly break the screen of the window. I guess we're overlooking by that point the house is pretty much destroyed by a fire, so the screen seems pretty trivial. But whatever. 

We wrapped the discussion up, the kids went back to playing, and I began lunch. That's when I overheard a child say (as they played), "let's pretend that the daycare house is on fire and we have to leave the house." Great. After all of that, what they took away from our drills and discussions: "Ashlen's daycare house will be on fire." 

My text and pick up conversations went like this: My house was at no point on fire today. I told the kids we should not look out the windows if we hear the tornado sirens. We need to stop, listen for directions, and go to the basement. The kids were curious about what they should do if I die in any of the above scenarious. I danced around this question, but pretty much, the dog is in charge I guess. Also, the kids were a bit miffed that the sirens were going off and they couldn't see a storm out the windows. They've been talking all day about fires, storms, and lockdowns. Have a good night!

Luckily, I've been at this long enough that I KNEW I must text/speak to parents about the day's activities because I can only imagine the calls I would have gotten if I didn't! At the end of the day (and still today), the only thing to do is laugh at the absurdity of it all! I have no idea what my life would look like without daycare, but there's no way it would be this entertaining.

I'm Ready To Be A Yes House Again

A hot chocolate pool. Yes, they went swimming in it too!

Preface: I feel the need to mention that I realize I am extremely privileged to be able to keep my business up and running, make money, AND safely provide families with alternatives at this time. I am grateful in every aspect for all of it, especially the option to homeschool my own children. All of that is made possible because of my daycare business. Regardless, it doesn't negate my feelings. Like many people, I am navigating through a new world and trying to find my footing. Our entire world changed one year ago and while we have made it work to the best of our ability, it's HARD to make changes you weren't ready to make or didn't want to make. I was happy and content with how my business was run, how we were leading our lives, and everything in between. 

 In all of the changes in the last year, this one flew under the radar for a bit. It wasn't until I couldn't place my own feelings about things that I realized what the true issue was. Upon creating my daycare ten years ago, I wanted one thing above all else: I wanted the kids to hear YES as much as possible. This is how we've had things like feet and body painting, baby pudding painting, flour "sand," shaving cream and chocolate pools, using a mattress to jump on from off of the couch, and so much more. A kid's life is full of no's, I wanted my house to be the yes house.

I've succeeded in that for nine years. I made it nine years and then Covid happened. Quarantines and new ways of life overwhelmed us. Daycare was forced to become "school at daycare" out of necessity. I wouldn't have it any other way because I was able to step up, help out, and be someone that my daycare families needed in a time of uncertainty. But in the process, our house became a "no" house.

No, we can't use endless blankets to build forts. I can't let you play with blankets. Or stuffed animals, cloth toys, and anything else that can't be easily wiped down to be disinfected. No, we can't do that. No, we can't do a dance party right now because someone is taking a test. No, nap times. lunch times, snack times, or anything else can't be changed. No, we don't have time to play outside. No, we can't do ________ because I won't have the time in between helping kids with schoolwork, making sure they're at their classes on time, and teaching other kids.

It's breaking me to have so many no's. Don't get me wrong, the kids don't seem to be exceptionally bothered by it; it's ME who's taking it hard! What made every day fun was that I managed to make every day a little different (for the kids and me). With school at daycare, that's not always a possibility. I'm ready for my house to be a yes house again.

Maybe it's summer that I need. The long days spent playing in the yard, in barefeet (which will likely be another no this year because, well, dog), getting covered in dirt in the mud kitchen, eating lunch whenever the kids are hungry, and having as long of a lunchtime as they would like. I'm ready for it. I miss it. I'm ready for more yes and less no.

Playing a game they created circa 2015ish. They set up the chairs, then you must stand on our couch, throw a ball, and hit a chair to get points. For five and three year olds, I thought it was brilliant.

Mental Exhaustion Has Taken Over

 

I haven't had a simple, regular daycare day since August. It's been school at daycare since the school year began. My days have been demanding, but I failed to realize how mentally exhausting they were until I had a regular ol' daycare day. There was no school for MLK Day and it's pretty easy for me to decide to change up homeschool lessons. I planned a day with toys and activities and fun. Plain and simple fun.

I fed them, make sure everyone is communicating with one another and safe, and then I sat back and took it all in. Not to say that all I did was sit! Daycare days are a lot of work! At the end of the day I was physically exhausted from running room to room, changing out activities, cleaning up activities, cooking, playing referee, climbing on my hands and kneeswith the kids, and so much more. 

I hadn't paid attention to how mentally exhausted I've been since the school year began. My daily work load is a lot to keep straight and I feel it. I feel it so much that my head hurts and my body is tired. After yesterday, a day when I only had to keep track of one schedule, no timers being set to return to classes, no curriculum to cross off, just fun. Still exhausting, but overall fun.

It was the reminder I needed as to why I keep daycare as my full time job. I wholly felt why this job makes me happy. Not to say that I haven't had fun the last several months, but it wasn't the same fun I felt yesterday. I went to bed with every bone in my body happy and ready for the next day. Here's the thing that I realize:

I am doing exactly what I need to be doing at this moment in time. I am content to be fulfilling the needs of others and our own. "School at daycare" may be mentally exhausting, but it is what's needed. Just as needed, was the reminder of why I do what I do in life.

I haven't any tips on how to deal or ways combat mental exhaustion because I feel so very many of us, especially parents, are faced with this same feeling right now. I give myself breaks and daily "time outs," which help. I've simply settled on this is how life is right now and the only way through is to push through, while trying to make the days fun for as many of us as I can.

I was honestly shocked at how much the overall mental exhaustion has affected me. I usually experience some mental tiredness during the school year, between keeping track of my kid's schedules, who needs to be where and when, their overall academic progress, our family schedule, business, etc. At any point life can get exhausting, but this school year is a bit more. Surprisingly, the one thing not exhausting me is keeping track of my own kid's academics. Since I'm in charge of that daily, I have a good handle on where they are and where they need to be at the end of the school year. 

As usual with this time of year, I've very ready for summer vacation to make it's way back.

How To Write Pandemic Policies For Your Business

I've spent soooo many hours writing policies for daycare. It's exhausting. Sometimes I feel as though I'm overthinking everything; then the next minute I feel I'm not doing enough. Can this pandemic just be over with already??!
t's dangerous to do, but I'm going to assume if you're a daycare provider of any kind, you likely (and should) have a policy/guidelines/contract for your daycare families. In my policies and procedures, I have what happens in case of an emergency, but I had never once thought about a pandemic section in my daycare policies prior to March. Obviously, as soon as Covid19 became a thing, it was clear to me that my regular sick policies didn't even touch what was needed for right now.

While policies aren't my favorite thing to deal with or make sure they're enforced, and I'm sure parents often feel the same way, they are important for running a smooth business. In the case of a pandemic, policies are intregal in keeping kids, their families, and anyone they come into contact with safe. The enormity of writing and researching new policies weighed on me for weeks this summer. With school beginning, I definitely had to rework my pandemic policies that I had set into place for summer care.

I've had to write three sets of pandemic policies in the last 5 months. Each time I had thoughts of "what the hell do I do??" I fretted, I cried out of frustration and the lack of guidance, I drank (a lot) to make researching more fun, I had to re-do a lot of the work I did while drinking (while upfront, I don't think the line "use your common sense on this parents" would be appreciated in a contract). It's been a lot and taken up much of my time since March.

Apparently I look like I have my shit together (and sometimes I actually DO!) because I've helped several providers in my area write their policies and I've sent my pandemic policies out to other daycares and businesses to help them write theirs. As I sat one night on a phone call with a friend, explaining my policies so she could ask me questions about their daycare's policies in place, I realized this sh*t needs to be shared. Fellow daycare providers, parents with questions, businesses and especially any business that deals with children, should be sharing and helping each other out right now. Instead, I'm finding many of us feel alone and wondering if we're doing the right thing. With very little guidance from leadership, I've found myself making decisions I never dreamed I'd be faced with and that alone is all the feelings.

One thing to remember about daycares is that while we own our business, we are still controlled (or have rules that must be followed put in place) by our states, counties, cities, health department, and human services (DHS in our area). That means we have a whole lot of departments we need to check with before we can even open our doors and that's no different in a pandemic. Actually, that's more important in a pandemic. So, while I will share with you how to go about writing your own, above all else, you need to also listen and implement policies in place by your local (and even federal) agencies, departments, and governments.

After researching all guidelines and requirements put in place in your state, you're ready to write! But where to begin? I began with the changes we would be making in our household (this is important since I'm an in-home daycare).

• Are you social distancing? Are you allowing anyone into your home? These are all things that should be touched upon, as most daycares are closed off. The only people in or out are staff (or in our case, our family) and daycare children. We have closed our house to all visitors, even in the off hours. Do you have your own children and if so, are they going to school? Are they involved in activities? How are you handling when your child(ren) comes home at the end of the school day, with possible germs?
• What will your cleaning procedures be? Will you amp up your cleaning, use different products than previously used, spraying children's shoes/coats after they're removed? Will you keep cleaning procedures the same? Will you require more handwashing? Will you have hand sanitizer on hand for kids? Are you requiring masks? All of this should be thought about and considered before writing your policies. Think about what is actually doable for you, your family, and your business. If you want to clean more, how are you going to implement this? Do you have the extra time to give to this? Look at what is feasible both time and monetary wise.
• Will you be taking temperatures at the door or will that fall on parents? What will you require of parents and children upon arrival as drop offs and pick ups will have changed? Parents should no longer be allowed inside daycares/classrooms. This is more important than I initially thought. When I first heard of centers in our area implementing this policy, I was heartbroken. So much of what I love about my daycare families is talking to parents at the beginning and end of the day. I am given insight into their lives, what is happening with the child(ren) when they're not at daycare; that personal level really changes when parents cannot be a part of daycare. However, I get how it really keeps the germs that enter daycare down. It is not my favorite policy (and I honestly can't wait until I can do away with it), but for now, it does provide a sense of security in keeping everyone healthy.
• Do you need to remove toys or furniture? Stuffed animals, dress up clothes, cloth dolls, furniture that isn't plastic or wooden aren't to be used right now due to their ability to hold bacteria (and keep it present). If you aren't (or can't) remove such items, how do you plan on cleaning them thoroughly? You may think this one is no big deal, however, it was pointed out to me, that if there happens to be an outbreak (or your daycare becomes a hot spot) your Department of Health and Human Services will want to know what precautions your daycare business was taking. You will need to be able to tell them and show them what was or wasn't being done. If everyone at your daycare is sick, this will affect when your business will be allowed to re-open. Example of this: An outbreak happens at my daycare (hypothetically) and a few children and their family tests positive for Covid. Likely, a worker from one, both, or more departments will be in touch and my daycare will be required to close. The length of time will depend on what policies I've have implemented. Since I deep clean daily, kids don't have access to couches, all nap mats and cribs are wiped down and cleaned after each use, no blankets or stuffed animals are used, etc., I will likely be able to stay open. If it's deemed I was doing nothing, they can force me to close, tell me to implement policies, come under review, and complete a health inspection before I'm able to re-open my doors. This is a deal breaker for me, as it's a matter of if I'm closed for a day or two vs. 14+ days (30 - 60 days would be more likely). 
• Go over your current sick policies. Update as needed. Since there isn't clear and concise data on what is best, please implement policies that reflect what you're comfortable with. Make sure you enforce all sick policies. If you need further assistance with this, I recommend you contact your doctor or local pediatrician to determine what is recommended for your area and how they are treating positive Covid19 cases in your area.
• Will you allow before and after school care? How will you handle a child (or children) going from one group of kids to the next? If you have kids arrive mid-day from school, what precautions will your daycare be taking? Will the child need to change his or her clothes? Wear a mask? 
• Are you taking virtual or homeschool learners? If so, how will you be sure they are doing their work? Do you have a safe and quiet space for them? Will you be charging an additional fee for this? 
• Most importantly, come up with a plan if you, a member of your household, or daycare children (and their families) have any symptoms or test positive for Covid19. Will parents need to pay if you're forced to close? Will you take partial payments? Will you use vacation or sick days? How long will you close? How long will sick children need to be out of childcare?

This is a whirlwind time and all new territory for everyone. It has not been easy taking over a leadership role, when it's not one I wanted in the first place (like, hello, if I wanted to be thinking about and writing policies regarding public health, I wouldn't be a daycare provider), however it has been eye opening to find how many people are without guidance and help. If you would like to take a look at my daycare's policies and what I included, you can find a link below. 

Daycare Pandemic Policies Fall 2020

* please be aware, that my pandemic policies are in addition to my regular policies and procedures (more of an addendum). Many of my regular policies and procedures are still in place (including payment, which the pandemic doesn't change). I also reserve the right (as my families know) to change any policy at any time that can be effective immediately, in regards to the Covid19 pandemic. This was an important piece for me when writing these, as information and how federal and local officials are handling the pandemic is constantly changing.

We've Moved Onto The Sadness Portion of The Pandemic

I was going to type and print an "official" sign but I couldn't bring myself to do it. With all of the changes, I couldn't bring myself to lose the laid back, unofficial way of business around here.

Life returning to normal is becoming a slow reality. Yet it doesn't look "normal." Faces are hidden, there's fear for the unknown, we remain six feet apart from most others, children should be heard but not seen. This seems to be the trend for the foreseeable future. That makes me sad.  

There was a heavy ball in my stomach as I placed a sign on the daycare room door that informed parents they could no longer enter daycare. I feel like I'm breaking apart our little community. Putting up barriers with those that are in our daily lives and who we love dearly. I feel further closed off, even as quarantines are lifted.

I'm sad and nearly mourning for the valuable life experiences my children are missing out on. My oldest will be twelve in a few weeks. It wasn't until I was chatting with a friend that I realized he won't get the experiences of normal twelve year old life any time soon. Going to movies or the mall without parents was a right of passage for twelve year old me. Right now, my twelve year old can't even go into a store with a parent let alone with a friend.

I'm a person who looks at how life's every day experiences can shape a person. A simple trip to the grocery store can teach children so much: how to grocery shop in general, how to pick produce, how to price compare, reading labels, not to mention paying and having small talk with other shoppers or cashiers. A simple meal at a restaurant teaches kids how to order, how to behave, paying, tipping. All of this equates to firsthand experiences and knowledge. Without these simple, everyday things in their lives, my children (and many, many others) are missing out on important life experiences. They're missing swimming lessons, camps, social interactions, traveling, just to name a few. 

Please don't tell me why they're missing them. I get it. I know why they're missing all of these things because I'm living it and still practicing social distancing. No matter what, it still makes me sad for the experiences we should be able to have (safely).

This is all temporary. I have heard this countless times. I've even reminded myself of this throughout the last eight weeks. As I write lines such as "for an indefinite amount of time," or "for the foreseeable future," it doesn't seem temporary. It's sad. Of every emotion I've felt in the last two months, sadness has settled in when I think about the changes that are occuring, the changes I make for my business and for my family.

Eight weeks ago, I never would have thought about not letting people in my house (or not letting my children go into stores). Most days my doors were unlocked and numerous children, parents, friends, and neighbors dropped by at every hour of the day. I've grown accostumed to this, it's been our way of life for nine years. To lock our doors and tell people they can't enter seems unnatural to me, especially as I gear up for the (usually) busiest months of business. Instead of spending my time creating a summer theme or trying out new activities, I'm fighting to get the basic supplies for daycare (paint, clay, kits, etc.). As much as I can find the good in life right now, making all of the changes that I didn't want to make brings brings sadness. So on this Sunday night, before we begin our last full homeschooling week for this school year, I'm mourning our way of life being altered and forever impacted.