Saturday, March 1, 2014

I Am 30

I'm just going to admit my failures upfront: I have accomplished nothing that I thought I would by the time was thirty. I have not traveled to every US state, I have not traveled the world, I am not a professional writer, I do not have a bachelor's or a master's degree, I do not have a fancy car or a ton of money to throw around, I do not live in a huge gorgeous house, or have a social life to die for. Instead I have accomplished so much more than all of this.

I've loved and lost. I have been to college, dropped out when I couldn't figure life out, and went back to school years later when I found "my profession" (which is actually, no longer my profession). I have changed career paths numerous times. I unexpectedly fell in love and married a boy I've known half of my life. I've made fantastic friends and I've lost many along the way. I've had to say some sad goodbyes. I've had to let go. We drive a minivan--I say we because we are a one car family. The only time I'm a writer is as I sit and type away at my blogs. I make enough money to live comfortably and do fun things, but not enough money to travel the world. I had 3 kids by the time I was 28 (hence, where all of our money to travel the world goes). My social life consists of the friends that have stuck by my side that I'm lucky to see every once in a while. I started my own business. I spend my days with kids--shocking considering I wasn't even a kid person until I had kids. We live in a cute, small, but comfortable duplex. Our plans to travel the US have been put on hold until the kids are old enough to enjoy it too.

I work hard everyday. I meet my kids needs and their wants before my own. I got to bed every night exhausted, sometimes crying, my eyes burning because they need to close. Yet I go to bed with a full heart. Knowing I have done everything possible to make each day the best. Smiles, anger, laughter, pure joy, tears, fears, and any other imaginable feeling one can experience, I experience every day, numerous times a day.

The last 5 1/2 years of my life have been a roller coaster, which of course makes them the best 5 1/2 years of my life I've had yet. I've experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I've gotten my priorities straight. I've been poorer than poor and made a comeback. I've come to realize just how amazingly strong my support system is and that they'll do anything in their power for me (us). I've felt what loss really feels like. I've experienced true love not once, not twice, but four times. Four amazing times. That right there is enough to make my heart explode. I started my own business and have watched it grow over the last three years. I have met people who have given me unbelievable chances and opportunities. I have learned that if I want to see change, I have to be the change. I've had to learn patience. I have given myself the power to succeed. Talking and listening to other's life experiences gives me ideas and inspiration. Of everything I have experienced in my thirty years, one thing I have learned above all else is that everything happens for a reason. Life throws some hard curve balls at you, but there has always been a reason for every one of them. Some I'm still waiting to see the outcome.

My life has been far from easy and far from perfect, but every wonderful experience and every horrible day has lead me right to this life. To this moment. Just the right amount of adventure (of it's own kind), lots of happiness, some very tough times, and contentment all around. I would start a list of how I want my life to be in the next thirty years, but I know it won't come anywhere close to reality. Instead I'm just going to roll with whatever is thrown at me. I don't like to make plans because life usually intervenes. But I enjoy the interventions life brings the most.

This is my life right here at thirty. This is so much better than anything I could have ever hoped and dreamed for.