Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Big 3-0

Six months from today I will be turning 30. I really have no real feelings about the big 3-0. I'm not freaking out about it, just thinking harder than I probably should. When I was fifteen and thought of thirty, I never pictured my life as it is. I had in mind a big city and money. I could have cared less about being married, staying in touch with friends, having kids, or staying in Des Moines. Fifteen year old me was, well, a stuck up private schooled bitch. I thought thirty was old. Thirty seems to be the new twenty, in my mind at least. I'm sure I'll be saying this at forty as well. To me, turning thirty seems to be a time of reflection of life. Have I accomplished everything I wanted? Am I happy? I don't believe in thinking about if I had done things differently because I believe every little action leads to something greater. I have no way of knowing what life could have brought if I had done one simple thing differently, but I know some people do think about this.

Well, I can say this: going by my fifteen year old self's standards, I have accomplished nothing and would be absolutely miserable. By my standards today: I have accomplished everything I've wanted and needed too (thus far at least) and am extremely happy. Not every step of the way was happy go lucky for me. College years were a bitch and a half for me and I had many different jobs because I had no idea what I wanted to do (and really, once I eventually, no time soon though, stop doing daycare, I have no idea what I'll do, but that's what a turning 40 blog post will be about). But, I can safely say, all of those hard times and triumphs led me to where I am today. My minis and the daycare are my greatest joy in life. I'm pretty proud of myself for starting my own business and running it successfully. This is something I never dreamed of happening. I pictured myself being a writer somewhere in a great city like Chicago with trips to tropical islands and Europe numerous times a year. Instead, I'm nixing a trip to Las Vegas for my 30th birthday so we can take the kids to Minneapolis for spring break. I will more than likely never have money. I feel blessed to have enough to cover our needs, many of our simple wants, and quite a few "extras" but we'll never money to throw around. Fifteen year old me would be thinking "oh how sad and pathetic." Today, I'm happy with what I have because I know it's a lot more than what some people have.

If I have learned anything in my almost thirty years, it's that it's the simple things that count. I fully and truly realize this statement now at twenty nine and a half years old. Some people will be carrying around the latest Coach purse on their way to Mexico while I'm on my way to the nearby park with my kids....and I guarantee I will make this experience just as magical as a beach in Mexico (just not as relaxing). Why? Because it's the simple day to day stuff that makes us who we are. It's donuts on a Sunday morning, letting my kids eat McDonald's for the second time in a week because I've run out of time to cook a decent dinner, the clean laundry sitting in baskets because I chose to run around the backyard with my minis (or I just didn't have time to do, which happens a lot too), cleaning up poop off of the floor because a certain three year old missed the potty chair, taking evening walks, telling my kids not to jump on the bed yet not enforcing it because look how much fun they're having, reading books until my voice is hoarse, cuddles, middle of the night snuggles, school assignments, play dates, and running through the backyard that means the most and will be remembered the most.

What will I do in the next six months until I'm thirty? Nothing I'm not already doing. I vow to spend my time seeing the world through my children's eyes. I will complete our Fall Fun To Do List with them, I will make each day magical so that one day when they have kids they'll know how to be there for them and show them their love, I will teach my children about the world and give them experiences so they won't grow up to be small minded, and most of all, I will give them hugs and kisses and tell them I love them. Because they are the greatest thing I have done with my thirty years. Every step of the way has led to this day, this moment in time, in which I find myself a writer (we'll consider this blog makes me a writer), a mother, a business owner, where I find myself rich beyond belief (just not in the money sense). So, I'd say I've done just about everything I needed to do in my thirty years.....and I've still got six months to make it even better.

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