Thursday, January 5, 2017

I Made My Husband Join Tinder

First things first, I got ya with that title didn't I? Huh, huh? Yes, catchy title but it's also true. Let me tell you the story before you fall out of your seat. See folks, we've been out of the dating game a long time. Almost twelve years. We started dating when I was twenty one. We never got the experience of online dating, crappy blind dates, dating horror stories. We (mostly) got to skip over all of that.

Believe me, I'm not complaining. Not one bit. I'll admit that if I were to be thrown into the dating game at this stage I would be completely lost. I wouldn't understand a damn thing. And that's the problem. We still have quite a few single friends and whenever we get together with them, I feel rather lost. I have NO IDEA what the hell they're talking about. 

One conversation everyone was having was about Tinder and how they were swiping (I mean, what the hell is swiping someone???). My husband and I were beyond lost. We were quiet for most of the evening. Even asking my friends about how it works, I was still clueless. I was like your grandma navigating Facebook. It was bad. I felt....uncool and out of touch (read: out of date). Of course this was the first thing my husband and I began discussing as soon as we hopped into our fully loaded minivan (which shows just how cool we really are).

"I want to check out Tinder," I informed him as we drove down the road. Being together twelve years (and knowing each other for many years before that), we were on the same page with this one.

"Let's go home, check on the kids, and then we can check it out." So we did just that. The problem we soon discovered is that you need a Tinder profile to "check it out." To sum up our conversation, we decided to join Tinder simply so we can understand how it works so we don't feel completely clueless when our friends start talking about their dating adventures. However, both of us didn't need to join (as we were just playing around with it together.....and that sounds just as bad as the title of this article).

I made my husband join Tinder. Now, when I tell this story to people, they are shocked. "Do you trust him?" "Oh my goooodddd! You LET your husband join? What if he uses it without you?" Well, for  one, he can't even remember the damn password. For two, let me fill you in on why I wanted HIM to join and not me. See, as I said earlier, we have friends on Tinder and obviously people don't understand our reasoning for joining Tinder in the first place. Therefore, if someone we knew came across a Tinder profile, I sure as hell didn't want it to be mine.

No, if friends or acquaintances came/come across it, they think my husband is the scumbag. So, that's the story of how I made my husband join Tinder. I was curious and didn't want to look like cheating scum so I made my husband do it. #marriedlife