Thursday, December 1, 2016

10 Best Lines Kids Have Said To Me

I've been in the daycare business for (nearly) six years. In that time I've heard a lot of things from kid's mouths: first words, I love you's, and incredibly funny things. Some of them have left me speechless, but most of them have me smiling and laughing. Here's  my ten favorite lines over the years (thank you to Facebook memories for keeping these alive and fresh for me):

1.) "My dad wears my mom's pink underwear....but just sometimes."

2.) "I have pancakes in my ears."

3.) At pick up one day, a mom asked her daughter what she did today. Girl responded, "she took us to a bar today!"

4.) "You can't yell for help if you don't really need it or no one will help you when you're dying." (We had been discussing telling the truth that week)

5.) I left the room for one minute, literally one minute. Come back into the room only to find the baby  chewing on something.
Me: "What does she have?"
Kids: "A waffle....we found it under the couch."

We hadn't had waffles in at least a week. I was soooo embarrassed when I sent that report text to the parents.

6.) "It's just a really tough day today," said as child is laying on pillows, covered in a blanket, watching a movie.

7.) "I love vanilla RAPERS." We worked on how to say waffers a lot that day.

8.) "Testicles is that thing that hangs in the back of your mouth." (Read more on that doozie here)

9.) Child walks in with a purse packed full of random things. Parent acknowledges they have no idea what's in the purse, apologizes in advance, and leaves (this is not a big deal to me, as I have a daughter who packs random crap into bags as if it's her hobby). Later in the day, child walks up to me and hands me a tampon. "Here, I don't need this anymore. You can have it. It's my mom's, but I didn't find it in the trash."

10.) "Some day I'm going to be a fire fighter so I can shoot water at people." #goals

* We like to use the line "don't believe half of what your child says happens here and I won't believe half of what your child says happens at home."

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