Tuesday, February 23, 2016

The Silly Thing I Feel Guilty For

So much of my days are spent going, going, going. I wake up, lace up my Nike's and my day starts. Often times I don't sit down until long after daycare kids have left, which makes it time to fire up the lap top and put some words on the blog. Many times my days end with a long list of things left undone and my house only marginally clean. Some days I feel like I'm on fire and could do a million more things. Other days I barely hold my head above water.

On the weekends we like to go, go, go outside of the house (one of the casualties of working from home). We love getting out and exploring, attending events around the city, trying out fab restaurants, and giving our reviews on the blog. This winter we made a family promise to relax more and spend less weekends running around like crazy. So that's what we've done. More days around home playing games, making meals, taking on the little projects that are on the back back back burner of our lives.

I sleep in a little, take naps, watch a movie or two on Netflix, take a walk around the neighborhood. We enjoy our little family day and not a lot gets done. Yet, at the end of the day, as I tuck my minis into their beds in their still messy rooms that I didn't make them clean, I feel happy, well rested, and guilt. Guilt??? 

Yes, guilt. That funny feeling that sneaks up the best of us for the silliest of reasons. As much as the day of relaxing and rest was rejuvenating, I feel guilty for all of the things I could have, possibly even should have, done. If I hadn't decided to sleep in an extra hour in the morning proceeded by snuggling on the couch with the minis while we watched a movie, I could have gotten sooooo much done. The laundry would have actually gotten put away, bedrooms actually cleaned and not just half assed picked up, my kitchen counters may actually be usable rather than remnants of breakfast on them.

This guilt that I feel is kind of like mom guilt, but more of a societal guilt. Society says the house should be cleaned, well organized,and decorated. I can easily say my house doesn't attract mice and bugs but it's not the cleanest house you'll step foot in. My three kids take care of that with no problem. My house is far from organized. The boy's room contains clothes that are a size too small for them. Going through their drawers and sorting the clothes into piles will take the better part of a day. It's not high on my To Do List. My house is decorated. With toys. I could work on these things. Society says I should work on these things. And there's where the guilt sets in. It's something I should do, but not something I make a priority.

All of these little things aren't a priority to the big things. I KNOW this. I believe this. Yet I still feel guilt. There's nothing I dislike more than feeling guilty for something silly. I could make a plan to get things done next Sunday when we'll likely have another relaxing day at home....but it's my birthday. So I'll just plan on the impending guilt that will hit Sunday night.