Wednesday, February 4, 2015

When Parents Go On A Date Night

I remember date nights before we had kids: get dressed in our finest get up, dinner at fancy restaurants, intellectual conversations, topped off with meeting friends at our favorite bar for drinks, laughter, and good times. After kids, date nights are a little more....well, lame. Or what I thought lame was all those years ago. Date nights take planning (apparently finding a sitter for 3 hellions is next to impossible), the conversation is dominated by talk of the kiddos, and I feel like a dinosaur anytime we go to a bar. Here's a look at a recent date night Hubs and I took:

6:00 p.m.: Write out two full sheets of instructions for snacks, baths, and bedtimes for three kids and a new sitter.

6:30 p.m.: Put on make up. Deal with three kids who watch my every move and ask "what are you doing mommy?" every two minutes. I also reassure each child numerous times that we will be back, talk about all the fun they're going to have with the sitter, and remind them to listen.

7:00 p.m.: After umpteen hugs, kisses, and good nights, we finally leave the house and head to dinner. The car seems eerily quiet. I ask if everything is alright and then I remember that it's just the two of us in the car! I feel a little jittery from excitement. I'm also at a loss for words because there's no one to yell at for hitting or being too loud.

7:20 p.m.: At the restaurant. The server takes us to our table where the Hubs and I immediately lay our cellphones on the table. We worry about any emergency calls or texts or a call of surrender from the sitter.

7:25 p.m.: Order a drink. Check time on cellphone. Think about what the kids are doing.

7:40 p.m.: We decide on dinner options. Out of habit, we both check the kids menu and ask the server if anything contains nuts, soy or corn (our oldest is allergic). Neither of us have allergies to these things.

7:45 p.m.: We ask about each other's days. Within the first five minutes of the conversation, we're talking about the kid's days at school and the latest funny line that came out of the two year old's mouth.

8:00 p.m.: Check cellphone again for any emergency calls or texts. Think about what the kids are doing and wonder how bedtime is going. I feel a slight twinge of guilt for not tucking them in tonight.

8:05 p.m.: Both comment that we're surprised by the lack of texts and/or phone calls. This makes us nervous. But drink #2 takes care of that as we talk about work and school schedules.

8:10 p.m.: Dinner is served. As we eat, we comment on which child would like which dish the best. Who pooped today, what it looked like, the cat's vomit, the grocery list, and laundry round out our dinner time conversation. I ignore the little voice in my head telling me how pathetic, and gross, we are.

8:40 p.m.: Finish up dinner, pay, and leave. It's amazing how quickly we can leave a restaurant when the kids aren't with us and without any to go boxes!

8:45 p.m.: Receive a text from sitter that states kids went to bed a-okay. My husband and I agree that they're little a-holes at bed only for us.

9:00 p.m.: Decide to try out a hot little bar in the area. Instantly I feel old and lame upon walking through the door.

9:20 p.m.: In the past twenty minutes, the only thing we've been able to talk about are how the girls need to learn some class when it comes to dressing.

9:25 p.m.: It's getting close to bedtime. I can no longer stifle the yawns or pretend I can stand another round of drunk karaoke from the freshly turned 21 year olds.

9:30 p.m.: Receive another text from sitter that states the kids are not in fact asleep, but playing in their bedrooms instead. This sounds like my kids. Now I'm ready to listen to another round of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." "That was never me," I claim as I laugh at a drunk girl's ridiculous behavior.

10:00 p.m.: We're calling it a night. These boots are killing my feet and Netflix is calling my name.

10:20 p.m.: Get home, pay the sitter, and collapse into bed. And then the kids wake up to see what we've been up too....

We rock date nights....just like all of our other friends with kids.

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