Saturday, December 17, 2022

T'was The Holiday Season With Young Kids

T'was the holiday season with young kids and all through the house, all hell was let loose. Maybe even a mouse.

A child had ripped down the stockings we hung with care, they forgot St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children got up from their beds fifty thousand times, as they screamed for more water, dying of thirst. And mama in her two day old sweats, and I in my cap, just wanted to settle for a five minute nap.

We had presents to wrap, a house to clean, and Aunt Sally was demanding we be there at 3. I flew to the window to see snow falling down. Who the hell was cleaning this up? Surely not me? We had places to be.

I whistled and shouted and called each kid by name: Hey you! Hey child one! Hey child two! I can't remember your names, but get to the porch. We must dash away, dash away, dash away now.

I heard the thundering of each little foot. I turned around to see them come down the stairs with a bound. All were in tears, shouting incoherent things. I didn't give a shit, we were out of here! 

We weren't merry, the kid's cheeks were like roses, probably because they were sick. I see Shirley's mouth drawn up ready to scream. I was as white as snow, as I shooshed her, "please not here. We have one gift left."

We pulled up to the latest gathering. I laughed when I got a look at us, in spite of myself. Naptime was skipped, and bedtime too late, so we already knew, we'd be leaving once kids gave us the cue. I spoke not a word, as the talk turned political. I still wanted my stocking, hopefully filled with booze. A look at my watch, told me we had no time, for meltdowns were coming, let's roll. 

I sprang to the minivan, to my hooligans gave whistle. And away we all flew out of there, like the down of a thistle. I was in the front seat, when I heard Johnny exclaim, "Merry Christmas *&#$@%! have a good night!" I'm blaming that one on cousins.