Sunday, January 6, 2019

10 WTF Moments From Christmas Break

Ah, Christmas break. I was ready for 9 days off (5 for Christmas weekend, 4 for New Year's), sleeping in, a relaxed morning routine (I'm not a morning person so this was very beneficial for me). Of course, there's always some interesting moments during breaks too. My kids are with me all day every day, usually their friends are here for daycare, and chaos is inevitable. There's many moments throughout the days where I'm left scratching my head. Not that I would have it any other way. Here's a few that stands out from our 17 days together:

1.) There's a booger on my wall. On my wall. I tried to wipe it off, but I'm pretty sure it's glued on. No one will claim the booger either. Evidence of giant booger below.

2.) We went through 30 rolls of toilet paper in 14 days. To give you an idea, we barely went through 30 rolls the entire month of November.

3.) Elizabeth said to me one afternoon, "mom I really hate being the youngest and the only girl in our family." I jokingly asked if she wanted a sister.
She gave me a sly look and responded, "well, we could adopt one since you can't have any more kids." I told her maybe someday, but not anytime soon. She went back to playing with the daycare girls. Several minutes went by and she said, "like, we could just have Rebekah." Rebekah is one of my daycare girls. We then had to have an in-depth discussion about how we can't just take our pick of daycare kids to adopt as they already have parents. Another head-palm moment from Elizabeth.

4.) "Mom, can I have your debit card number for a minute?" - Harrison. I didn't even ask what he wanted it for. It was just an automatic no.

5.) Me: Go lay out clothes for tomorrow, get into pajamas, and brush your teeth.
Five minutes later walk by the boy's room and see them playing with Lego's in their clothes. No pajamas. No teeth brushing.
Me (understandably flipping out): Why haven't you done anything yet?
Max: I forgot what you told us to do so we just fixed the Lego car that broke.
Me (as deep breathing exercises began): Do what I asked you to do.
Another five minutes go by when Max walks back out and asks, "what was I supposed to do again?" At this exact same moment Harrison walked out wearing his clothes for the next day (instead of pajamas) and Elizabeth walked out of her room wearing make up instead of her pajamas. Apparently she forgot what she was supposed to be doing too and decided to put on lipstick. Right before bed.
I lost my ever-loving shit on them. Christmas is still too much for a 10, 8, and 6 year old (but getting better every year).

6.) Kids threw baby dolls at each other.
Me: Don't throw the dolls. Someone is going to get hit in the face with the hard heads. Play with them nicely.
Kids: But we did it last week.
They weren't even here last week. And they've never been allowed to throw baby dolls at each other. Ever. Temporary moment of forgetting the rules.

7.) Harrison (during daycare hours): Can we watch a movie?
Me: Yes, it must be daycare appropriate.
* This has always meant PBS Kids or a Disney movie
Harrison: So, I can put on Christmas Vacation for everyone?
Me: NO

8.) Harrison on a Friday as his friends left daycare: Ugh, I wish you did daycare on Saturday and Sunday. We need more kids in the house.
* Yes, because there's never enough the last daycare kid left, the neighbor kids knocked on the door to come play.

9.) I'm hungry. Can we have something to eat?
Every child, every day of break, minutes after finishing snacks and meals. The grocery bills were insane.

10.) Me: Elizabeth, no screaming.
Elizabeth proceeds with her high pitched screams as they play a game. I asked her two more times to stop, use an inside voice, etc, etc. After the third time I told her to leave the daycare room and come back in when she could follow directions.
Elizabeth: Then I'll scream in my room by myself instead.

I loved break. It was great to have my three home, but I'm ready for our routine to resume. And a little break, because everyone else's kids listen to me ten times better than my own do.