As good as I am about keeping things together, sometimes I'm not. I'm used to dealing with the crazy requests of children, I'm used to the chaos, I'm used to the demands, but sometimes it all piles up. Sometimes I forget to breath and release the frustrations of everyday.
Lately I've been bothered by the fact that we can't have nice things. There are too many kids around every day that sure enough, anything and everything gets ruined. Toys get broken, pieces get lost and never found again, even when I clean the bathroom within ten minutes it looks like I've been neglecting it for months. There are stains everywhere: on the carpet, on clothing, the kitchen counter. When I focus on it, it can drive me crazy. Especially when I step foot in other's houses and their table isn't gouged from a chip away rock activity. Usually I keep a pretty good perspective on these things. I rarely compare anything to other's but sometimes, just sometimes, I can't help but notice that rooms, furniture, toys in their houses aren't always in a constant state of distress.
Generally the messes don't bother me because the kids are able to do activities they can do nowhere else. I like that the toys are played with and loved. I like that there's a reason and a story behind every stain. But sometimes it just gets to me.
Earlier this week the middle mini spilled a cup of water on the couch. He wasn't supposed to have the water around the couch, but that's a different issue entirely. Anyways, the water spilled on my brand new love seat and stained it. I didn't freak out or panic as we bought a protection plan on the couch. The catch to taking advantage of said plan? It's a HUGE ordeal. Claim paperwork, a representative coming out to look at the piece of furniture, etc. Frustrating and of course we'd have our first stain just months after purchasing my coveted red sofas.
Sigh. I got over it. Not happy but got over it. Then came Sunday night.
I crawled into bed early as I was exhausted (sangria at book club will do that to ya). As I pulled up the covers, I looked down at my comforter. My expensive, also coveted, comforter that I treated myself to, had a huge snag in it. I lost it. I cried as I cradled my comforter in arms. It looked like one of those scenes out of a movie where they hold their dead loved ones and cry. That's the kind of thing I was doing, but with my comforter. Then the explosion.
"You've got to be kidding me! We can never have anything nice or it just gets ruined!" Out of past learning experience, my husband closed the bedroom door and left me to my freak out.
I went to bed with my "ruined" comforter and woke up this morning....to cat puke on the carpet. The carpet I spent Friday night scrubbing. I rolled by eyes and laughed about it. Really, I'm okay with not having nice stuff because some day I will. Some day my couches won't be stained and my comforters won't get snagged by little feet who decide to jump while I'm in the shower.
As a mom, things can get overwhelming. Simply as a human being, day to day life can get overwhelming. Somehow, that little moment of meltdowning makes dealing with it soooo much easier.
I've had many meltdowns throughout the years (quite a few doozies during the pregnancy times) and I know that all parents have their own meltdowns. Mine seem to be set off by the building up of little things that I don't deal with. So I ask, what causes you to meltdown? If you've got any good Mommy Meltdown stories I'd love to hear them!