Wednesday, May 24, 2017

When The Hell Will My Child Sleep Through The Night???

"Experts" helped me throughout my children's first several months of infancy. They helped answer a few puzzlers through toddlerhood. After that, all bets were off. I relied on medical journals and advice from fellow mommy friends because there's a whole lot of things the experts miss. I mean, A LOT.

One of the most misguided notions of parenting is when your child will sleep through the night. Here's a spoiler alert: you won't consistently sleep through the night for YEARS. Now, most nights my children sleep through the night. By through the night I mean falling asleep anywhere from 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. and waking up by 6:00 a.m. That's an early wake up call for someone like me, who could still sleep until noon.

There are those nights where all three minis wake up. There are those nights still where hardly any sleep is had. On those nights I want to hurt the "experts" who claim your child should be sleeping through the night by a certain age. Have those experts even raised children???

As I write this it is 4 a.m. and I'm having a cup of tea. I have been up every hour with my FIVE YEAR OLD (something the experts would find unacceptable I'm sure) since 1:30 a.m. I've snuggled, done potty breaks, gotten countless glasses of water, played with her hair, fallen asleep on her pillow only to be woken moments later by a "mom, are you sleeping???" Now I've finally gotten her to sleep and I can't sleep.

 4 a.m. never looked so good....on her. Me? I don't even remember taking this picture.

I've got the soothing sounds of She & Him on in the background, the lights dimmed, and I'm sitting here thinking about what I should have for breakfast. Should I just eat now? Then go back to bed and sleep a few minutes later than usual? Or keep trying to sooth myself into sleep and eat later? Also, since I'm thinking about breakfast, do I need to pack lunches for tomorrow? Did I remember to stuff a "small special snack" into the middle mini's backpack?

My thinking is paused when yet another mini pops out of bed. "Is it morning yet?" he asks, when he hears my music playing. I tell him to go back to bed (after a trip to the bathroom, because the last thing I want is to spend my day washing pee sheets) while I rest my body. I physically hurt from the lack of sleep, yet it's routine. Not as routine as when the minis were newborns and I was up every few hours for feedings, but routine nonetheless. My body may feel tired, while I've become acclimated to very little sleep. Anything after 4 hours of sleep is restless.

Seriously, I knew babies, like baby babies, didn't sleep through the night, but I never dreamed I would still be dealing with sleepless nights 9 years in. I mean, they look so cute when they sleep.

Why can't they look like this every night???? The saying "I'll sleep when I'm dead" rings true to me at this hour. Also at this hour, I'll switch to coffee, as the cats (yes, even the freakin' cats) are pretty sure mom is up for the day. Edit: I fell asleep thirty minutes before my alarm went off for the day as I was petting the cat to keep him quiet from waking up a child. The children slept well past their usual wake up time. #parentlife