I'm not sure why it suddenly hit me today, but I realized exactly what was happening at this time three years ago. I have constant reminders of the last three years, but to go back and read journal entries from this week three years ago, got me choked up.
Three years.
You would almost not know that we had been through a pandemic at this point. Life seems more normal than ever. We've been to restaurants, bars, events, and socialized all this week. We've been glued to the TV watching NCAA games (which were definitely not played three years ago). The only indication that there was a pandemic, I mean, other than inflation, shortages, and high political tensions, is that whenever we get sick, we're automatically tested for Covid. Masks are still kept in easily accessible places, but we haven't needed to use them in any place other than hospitals or urgent cares. Yes, life certainly looks normal at this time. Finally because at times I thought it would never end.
Three years.
Life is back to normal, but we're completely changed. My children and I are closer than I ever thought possible. Even as my oldest is off to high school and my middle child will be a teenager in a matter of months, we're tight. They still don't mind spending time with me (they just tend to prefer spending it watching movies, television shows, and occasionally willing to go out in public with me), they still ask me what our weekend plans are. If they have a question about life or school, they openly ask and share. I know I can thank the pandemic for that closeness, as we spent months with each other and then two and a half years homeschooling, and a full year traveling off and on.
I never do anything I don't want to do and I make sure I have people in my life that only bring me warm fuzzy feelings. I know I can thank the pandemic for that. I'm intentional with my time. I slow down and breathe more because I saw the beauty in it in the early days of the pandemic. When things don't go perfectly as planned, I have no issues pivoting. Sometimes it's disappointing, but I don't feel it as deep as I once did. This week is the perfect example of it. My children were struck with a stomach flu, one of those where they vomit one day, fine for awhile, and then back to feeling sick. We had to cancel our planned travel days and pivot to going to a museum close to us. Back in the day I probably would have cried with my children from the disappointment and have been ticked an illness took us down. Instead, I shrugged my shoulders, ordered an insane amount of take out, and watched March Madness. Nothing tends to surprise me anymore (sadly). I tend to think, "well this is life."
Three years.
It's been two years since I stopped thinking about what we had missed because of a pandemic. It's been two years since I realized all we (and myself) had gained. A better perspective on life, a realization of what was most important. I really haven't thought much about this week three years ago until today. I took time to look at journals, blogs, and pictures from this week (and month) three years ago. Until this point, I had associated this week three years ago with feelings of panic, disappointment, worry, confinement, and sadness. Today was the first time I had a different perspective on three years ago. The pictures showed smiling faces, trying new and different things all of the time because we had time. My children's faces were younger, softer, and honestly, a little bit sweeter than they are today. Because that was three years ago. We lived a lifetime in three years and I don't regret any of it. I never want to live through another pandemic again, but all of those completely normal, negative feelings have been replaced with good memories and sweet feelings that took me by surprise.
I didn't realize how special those days would be one day. I've said many times in my years homeschooling my kids, that the pandemic gave me time. Irreplaceable time with my kids, to explore, to do things we wouldn't otherwise have the time to do. Three years and an endless about of gratitude to have gotten the extra time and to be through that time, back into a normal looking life. I know my story isn't everyone's stories. We have friends and family who are suffering from Long Covid. We know people whose lives were changed in the worse ways because of the pandemic. I know I'm privileged to look back on this week three years ago with positive feelings. Not everyone is or was so lucky.
Three years.
Porch drop offs were a big part of life, as were puzzles, YouTube exercise videos, and puzzles.