Finally 40

 

Forty came and went uneventfully. No mid-life crisis, no big hoopla, unless you count the career change at 39 1/2 was the midlife crisis. I remember 25, 30, and 35. 25 I focused on creating a family and growing that family. 30 I made a promise to do things that scared me. At 35 I decided I wanted to travel and set my goal for 50 states in 50 years....or maybe that was between 30 and 35? I can't remember because I was stuck in my adventure stage. I still am, but it is admittedly less so than five years ago. 

Forty. Gosh, I really had no idea where I thought I'd be and very few expectations of where I wanted to be. I learned early that you make all the plans in the world, but know they are always tentative because life loves curveballs. Although, curveballs tend to bring me the best things, so I don't mind them much. Even when they're not so fun.

I'm going into forty with few expectations. In this next decade, I want to live completely in the present. Live in the moment, don't look back and don't look too far forward. I'm focusing on building a life outside of my children and family, spending more time with friends and doing things for me. I want to continue to do things that fill my cup, that bring me happiness. I don't have time for the other stuff. I want to slow it down, enjoy the day to day and being able to be around for it all. 

Let go and live in the world around me, as few plans as I can get away with (which is hilarious right now, since we live out of our calendar and have plans six months out). I don't know where this new career chapter takes me or where I want to go with it. I only know I'm enjoying it and the opportunities I find. 

Edited August 31, 2024: I read through this before finally hitting that publish button and I laughed the entire way through. I'm succeeding in the 'living in the moment' bit, but nothing else. Apparently my midlife crisis was applying for all the things, joining a high school theatre board, going back to school (in a way) and put in an application for WDM Leadership Academy (and getting accepted), and throwing in a last minute application to be a part of the program committee for Association of Children's Museum Interactivity annual conference because that means I get to spend plenty of time in New Mexico. I made all the plans, booked myself solid for the next nine months, and seem to get crazier the older I get. I hear of individuals "chilling out" with age, but it seems to be the opposite with me!

A Big Career Decision

The wonderful thing about being thirty nine is that I know myself. I know what I need, what makes me happy, what ignites my passions, and I'm comfortable with all of it. Sometimes I surprise myself, but for the most part, I know myself well. At many points in my life I would apologize when my passion would scare or offend people. Now I know to surround myself with individuals who support and encourage me. As a mother, I've figured out how to either include my children in my passions and make them a part of it, or when I needed to do things on my own.

A highlight for me was figuring out how to be the mom I wanted to be and run a business by making my children a focal point of my business model, thus my daycare business boomed. For twelve years I drew inspiration from my career.  That inspiration spawned other career highlights for me such as this very blog, freelance writing, and becoming an author. However, as children do, my own kids grew. Their needs changed, my mom role evolved, and I was suddenly taking off just as many days as I worked. Around this time, I was inspired by new challenges that arose.

For the last six years, I've been an active board member at the Des Moines Children's Museum (which is also a career highlight for me). The unique thing about this role is that we have been a working board. For six years I planned every event, attempted to hit fundraising goals, and failed marvelously at networking. I was thrilled to have a space that also shared my passion to have children learn through play. At this time last year I sat at a board meeting where we discussed how the Museum was growing and what was needed. I had an idea; I knew this idea to be a large undertaking for myself, but I figured, 'why not?' This idea was in the form of a monthly, Friday night program where we would try new and different things. One month was Games From Around The World, while another was a dance, and another was all about flowers. I knew I could do it because these are literally things I would do with my daycare. I loved when I could intertwine the two with my ideas reaching more children in our community. 

I will note at this time, that one year later, our Try Days will be no longer because they didn't bring in as many people as we had hoped. However, these Days did more for me personally than I realized until I sat down to write this. You see, while I showed up and shared these ideas with whoever else showed up, as the months went on, I grew increasingly frustrated because I couldn't network or get fundraising or whatever because of my full time job. By the beginning of this year, I realized my focus was changing. I was, and still am, passionate about daycare; stellar, affordable daycare where children learn through play. I am equally as passionate about following my passions, letting my ideas take the lead.

As I sat in the quiet on a January morning, I put finishing touches on another children's book and sent texts about more ideas I had for my other ventures, my mind began to wander. I knew a change was needed. For myself, for my growing children, for my sanity because there was no way in hell I could spend another school year wondering how my children were getting to and from school. If I'm perfectly honest, my initial plans (years and years ago) were to close daycare when my youngest started kindergarten. Of course, life is fun and throws curveballs. Here I was, that youngest child in her last year in elementary school and heading into middle school. I was still in a career I loved and I don't think I'll ever stop loving it. But on that quiet January morning, I updated my resume. I had no clue what I was going to do with it though. A quick skim of job searches left me thinking, 'oh hell no.'

Later that same day, I broke out my computer to send an email for the Children's Museum, thinking about how I could have gotten this done a week ago if this was my job....wait, what if this was my job? Two weeks later, some research, and basically creating a job I knew would check all my boxes, I submitted a job proposal to the Board of Directors, excusing myself from the board discussions of it all (obviously, because clearly I would hire myself). Two months and some job description changes later, I accepted the position of Programs and Events Director at the Des Moines Children's Museum, beginning at the end of August of this year.

Cue all of the emotions. I was a ball of nerves breaking the news to my daycare families, many of whom have been with me for all twelve years I've been open. Some days I'm elated and feel like I could have began the job yesterday. Other days, I stop and think how much I'll miss these daycare days. Sometimes I'm nervous and uneasy, what if I misread myself this time and life is throwing another curve ball? In this precise moment, I'm enjoying the last few days/weeks of my business before life changes. I'm taking in all of the moments, the good, bad, and crazy, and locking each moment away in my brain for when I need them.

I can't say I would have made this move at this time if my children's needs weren't changing, but I do know change is good. I enjoy challenges, learning new things, and letting my ideas fly. All of the emotions are with me as I head into my final days as a daycare provider of my own daycare business. I feel as though I'm reinventing myself when I step into my new career. Who knows where this next road will lead me, but I am ready to find out.

hello, 39

Thirty nine came and went without much ado. So far. It's just the start of the last year in my thirties. I feel no different today than I did at the beginning of February when I was thirty eight. Age is simply a number. It's the significance others place on these numbers that make them what they are.

At the beginning of 2023, I wrote a list of goals for myself. As with every year for the last ten years, my biggest goals consist of doing new things, trying things that scare me, and breaking boundaries. The very boundaries I once set for myself. All across social media, I've seen people seemingly do away with a goals list and begin a word of the year. It's an interesting concept that I haven't bought into much because I like a good goals list, so I can feel accomplishment each time I check one of those things off. Yet year thirty nine CAN be summed up into one word: change.

I didn't actually set out for year thirty nine to be a big year. It just kind of coincided with how things worked out and how I made things happen. Maybe I did it subconsciously, but more than likely I was just inspired. I took time for myself at the end of the year and the result was a massive creative boost with plenty of time for reflection and thinking.  

While others will make their thirties go out with a bang, I decided to keep this next trip around the sun simple. Make changes, leave time for reflection, listen to intuition, and don't go big. I've done big: big vacations, big purchases, big plans, big time commitments. This will be the year to make some big changes, then sit back and enjoy. Don't focus on monetary prosperity, but on emotional and physical prosperity. 

Change happens whether we like it or not. Sometimes we choose to accept change and sometimes we fight it with everything we are. Other times we are the ones to bring the changes. Thirty nine came, I'll conquer it by changing my world upside down, and how it will go out remains to be seen. 

As usual, my birthday was a month long celebration. I tried new coffee places, new restaurants, new drinks, and new things. Same hiking place because we love that it's only ten minutes from our house.

Blue Agave has amazingly fresh food, fun margaritas, and a great atmosphere.

Also a favorite is Home Sweet Cone. It might be the best homemade ice cream I've ever tasted. Not my favorite thing is applying fake nails, so Hubs took over that one for the youngest.

Splatter painting can be a lot of fun. We gave black light splatter painting a try and had a great time!

A new life jacket (since a kid stole mine) and Crumbl cookies. What more could I ask for?!? Ha!

A daycare kid brought his Nugget for our obstacle course. As it turns out, my kids love it too. They asked me why I've never gotten one for them.

I made my first cheesecake. It turned out pretty decently, definitely edible.

The day after my thirty nineth birthday was our fifteenth wedding anniversary. We celebrated by meeting for drinks and apps after work at Big Grove Brewery.

Goodbye Sweetest Kitty Boy

 

Sixteen and a half years ago, Matt and I, still early in our relationship, received a call from my cousin that her mom's friend had found a litter of kittens. There were two left and they were looking for someone to adopt them so they didn't have to be taken to a shelter. A few hours later we had two kittens running around our new apartment (we had also just moved in together). They've been there for every part of our lives the last sixteen years: all of the changes, all of the good times, and the bad. In March, we said goodbye to Sophia. December 10th we said goodbye to her brother, Doc.

Doc was our sweet kitty boy, as I called him. He was snuggly, loving, tolerant of the kids, and would always aggressively meow to be fed each morning. He slept on our legs each night, purring randomly as we all slept. I knew his remaining time with us was short as the fall grew on. I took us to the ARL that weekend in November not to replace him or his sister, but to fill the void they would leave. I knew it was going to be rough on all of us and I hoped a few kittens running around would help. And it did, it has. However, that wasn't the highlight.

The highlight was watching Doc transform into a kitten again in his final days. In his younger years, Doc never would have accepted us bringing new pets into our home. Heck, he didn't love Zeus when we brought him home! That was two and half years ago and a steady decline, meant Doc could really not give a shit what was happening around him as long as he was fed and his spot on the bed clear. But those final days of his did my heart good. He played, he was curious. His slow footsteps pepped up a bit as he took interest in the kittens. He quickly showed the kittens how to beg for food and how to do an aggressive meow so food appears immediately, which the male kitten picked up instantly and continues Doc's morning meow legacy. When we made the decision that Friday night to take Doc in the next day, we cried, we snuggled, and we remembered his kitten years.

My favorite stories are ones of mischievous adventure. When we first brought Doc and Sophia into our home, they were confined to the half bath at night and when we were away. We thought this would be the perfect, safe space for them. They proved us wrong by pulling out the vanity drawer, getting into the vanity, and locking us out of the bathroom. We had to take the door off of its hinges to get to them. They climbed curtains, screens, and furniture, jumped at the ceiling fan when it was on, made making the bed impossible as they launched themselves at the blankets, and sounded like a herd of elephants when they played. Sophia got stuck in a wall TWICE. She also fell through our garage ceiling after sneaking into the crawl space behind us. Doc had a three month stint where he insisted on being an outside cat. He got locked in someone's shed or garage for three whole days (we think, he couldn't tell us) and came home meowing, acting as if nothing had happened. Two days later he caught a squirrel and attempted to bring it into the house. To me. As if it were a gift. He puffed out his chest as he carried the squealing squirrel directly at me. I screamed and the look on Doc's face shifted to one of, "ope, I'm in trouble," and he quickly diverted his route, standing in the driveway. He took it one step further by killing the squirrel...in front of our youngest and a group of daycare kids. I was traumatized that day, but looking back, it's hilarious. He was quickly made to be an inside cat once again. Our windows were nearly broken so many times as both he and his sister attempted to "catch" the birds outside from inside. Our couch cushions were always smashed down from Doc and Sophia laying in the sun, on top of them.

New pets never replace the old ones, but it has made this transition easier. I still find myself reaching down to my legs to pet Doc at night, only to find it empty. I've called for him a handful of times and one morning I grew worried he wasn't at my feet the moment I stepped out of bed. It was sixteen and a half years with these two and I wouldn't have traded it for anything. 

Thankful, Grateful, Blessed

 

#thankfulgratefulblessed Was that all over social media again? It's cliché, believe me I realize. I actually hate the hashtag, but it's also very true. Each Thanksgiving season, I think long and hard about what I'm thankful for. This year I had to pause my thinking and redirect myself numerous times. I wanted to know, what was the one thing that had the biggest impact on me since I last checked my gratefulness?

A lot has happened since last Thanksgiving. Our table was one less special person this year. As much as I wish my grandma was still with us, I am forever thankful for what I was given during my grandma's last days on earth. Our large family gathered together for two weeks, two whole weeks, around her bedside. We shared meals, stories, tears, and laughter. The entire experience was pure, unconditional love. Love for my grandma and each other. As the days turned from winter to spring, I was forever changed by those weeks. 

Then again, the only reason I was able to fully immerse myself in family during that time was due to my business and the flexibility my families gave me. They're always understanding and downright amazing. I wouldn't have my life without them. Surely, I should be most thankful for them and my business. Every bit of it is priceless.

Of course, then there was all of the irreplaceable time I granted myself to have with my children. I took as much time off as I could, making just enough money to cover the bills, and I spent time with my children. I homeschooled them, took them on trips across the country, and learned with them. I can easily say that experience has had a tremendous impact on who I am in this moment (and also my bank account). I will never regret taking that time; it's actually been one of the best things I've done in my entire life.

In truth, I can't pick just one thing to be thankful for. I have a whole, wonderful life that was made up of a gazillion experiences the past year that leads me to be the person typing this. When we went around giving thanks before our meal last Thursday, I think I gave a pretty blanketed answer of 'I'm thankful for family, friends, animals...' I am very thankful to have all of that because they make my life rich with craziness and laughter. But truly, what I'm most thankful for are these experiences in my life that change who I am and who I become. The time with family that reminds me what unconditional love is. The people who show kindness and grace and support, even if it's not easy. The gift of time. So really, I am thankful, grateful, and so incredibly blessed with the good stuff life offers.

Thinking About 2023 Goals

 

It's 10 p.m. on October 25 and I'm sitting here thinking about 2023 and the goals I want to make for myself. I'm not a fan of odd numbers unless it's in fives. Fives are okay I guess. Thus, I'm having a hard time not being superstitious about the odd year ahead. A few months ago I was bound and determined to have an insane 2023: take on more freelance work, finish my 50 states in 50 years, and do all the things. As we get closer and closer to the new year, I can say I'm not feeling that.

I feel it in my gut. It's telling me that's not how I should spend my 2023, which is weird because it's also my last year in my 30's. Shouldn't I go all out? One would think because, well, it's me. But that's just not what I feel. I feel....slowness and familiarity. To spend time doing all the things I love to do. Make some changes; shuffle life around a bit. I have nothing specific in mind as of yet, plenty of ideas floating in my head, but nothing set in stone. Nothing that I have put out into the universe to see what the mothership is telling me. 

I still have a solid two months to solidify my 2023 goals, but it's on my mind. I need some inspiration. I need stories. I need to hear about travel plans, how every day life works for others, what you hope to happen. So tell me, what are you doing in the next year? What changes do you want to make? What is working for you and what isn't?

Goodbye Sweet Kitty

Life gives me constant reminders that it doesn't slow down. It keeps moving, somehow at what seems like a faster pace year after year. The last 15 1/2 years flew by and this softest little cat saw us through it all: moves, marriage, kids, job changes, a business, dog. Kitty Sophia only wanted pets, wet cat food, and a spot on the back of the couch where she could lounge in the sunlight.

We knew our time with her was limited as she had began losing weight. The weekend we came home from our latest road trip, she stopped eating and drinking. On March 10, I gave my nearly 16 year old cat her last cuddle, had her kitty brother say goodbye, and my husband and oldest son took her to be put down. It was the hardest and easiest decision we had to make. We knew it was time. Somehow, I took it the easiest (likely because I just knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later), while the youngest mini still cries about it; which is ironic since she never really paid attention to the cat at all. 

Sophia mostly spent her time upstairs, lounging on our bed, waiting for one of us to come to bed so she could demand pets, then curl up between our legs. I miss her soft fur the most, with her little mews coming in a close second. 

Doc (left) and Sophia (right), on a day where I was binge watching shows on Hulu during the pandemic. The cats really loved the pandemic, but really disliked our purchase of the pandemic puppy.

One last snuggle with my tiniest baby.

Sophia Marie Sheaffer

June 2006 (we're not sure her exact birthdate since she was rescued) - March 10, 2022

Days Like This

Birch Lake, northern Minnesota 2021; otherwise known as the week we lived on a houseboat

Days, weeks, months, years like this. 2021 brought a mixed bag that tested us, but ultimately made our lives better. I was scheduled to be on the road with the minis today, yet we find ourselves at home because no one wanted to leave. They opted for schoolwork instead of travel. That means I'm here thinking about the new year and reflecting on this past year. A lot has happened. Our lives are still turned around, there was a greater sense of normalcy, but after thinking about it more over a hot cup of coffee, I think our unconventional pandemic life has somehow become normal for us.

There have been disagreements and straight up arguments and fights. We've made new friends and worked hard to maintain other friendships. There's been schedule headaches, frustrations with our day to day life, exhaustion from doing too much every single day. There's been worries, heavy conversations, and big decisions about jobs, promotions, and when the minis will go back to the classroom. There were scary moments that made us realize how lucky we are. But those are just a few things that have come into our year. The vast majority of our year was amazing.

We traveled, we tried new things, places, and food. We got to go back to our favorite places, spent the summer drinking in pools at our favorite water park, laughed with friends and family, became stronger. At the end of August, we spent a week on a houseboat in northern Minnesota. As with most of our adventures, I created a music playlist for our getaway. I included many songs about boating, sailing, day drinking, relaxing. It's honestly a great playlist, if I do say so myself. There's one song on the list that sticks out to me: Van Morrison's Days Like This.

I like to think about the meaning songs hold for me. This song tells me about a perfect day or time. When things are going just perfectly, everything works out. There's clearly been turmoil, but it's all okay. That's how 2021 has been for us. 2020 changed our lives, 2021 brought challenges, but we became comfortable with those challenges. Things were good, not perfect, but every hard decision we had to make turned into something good. At the end of each year I do a year in review for us. This year, this song is our year in review. As we end the year with me trying to get my children to go on an adventure with me, I'm playing our 2021 theme song in my head.

When it's not always raining there'll be days like this
When there's no one complaining there'll be days like this
When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry there'll be days like this
When no one's in a hurry there'll be days like this
When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss
Oh my mama told me there'll be days like this

When you don't need an answer there'll be days like this
When you don't meet a chancer there'll be days like this
When all the parts of the puzzle start to look like they fit it
Then I must remember there'll be days like this

There'll be days like this

When everyone is up front and they're not playing tricks
When you don't have no freeloaders out to get their kicks
When it's nobody's business the way that you want to live
I just have to remember there'll be days like this

When no one steps on my dreams there'll be days like this
When people understand what I mean there'll be days like this
When you ring out the changes of how everything is
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this

Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this

** check out our Minnesota trip here, here, and here.**

2022 Goals

Here we are three days away from the new year and I'm still working on this year's goals, not putting much thought into what I'd like to see for and from myself for 2022. As we're cuddled on the couch, I began speaking with my children about what we'd like from the new year. They had a few suggestions, such as "get a second dog," which was promptly squashed, so we changed course a bit. We spoke about the things they'd like to do in the next year. We came up with some good ones, putting our hopes and good vibes out into the universe as we try like hell to make it all happen.

• finish our Iowa State Parks tour (only 5 left!!)
• see the northern lights
• visit NYC
• put the finishing touches on my book, find an agent or publisher
• continue writing, take on writing jobs
• read more books
• travel more
• finish the basement, move a kid down in the bedroom, and begin other house projects
• send the mini back to the classroom
• take time for myself

Exhausted From The Holiday

10:03 p.m. December 27, 2021. We finished with our last Christmas celebration of the season tonight. It was nothing like last year. We weren't alone, we spent time with family and friends, we invited people into our home on Christmas day. It was a bittersweet holiday season. I'm laying in bed utterly exhausted. Even my bones are tired.

We've been on the go daily since Thanksgiving. I'm all the things on this night. I'm sure all of those feelings are exacerbated by being tired. Regardless, all of the feelings are catching up to me. From extreme happiness to realizing for fortunate we are to be able to gather with our families, it's all there. But on this night, I don't want to talk with anyone. I told my husband I need some time to myself. I'm peopled out, even the prospect of leaving the house seems tiring. 

I'm unsure if this is an after affect from the pandemic or if it's just me. After pretty much being a hermit for the last 20 months, I'm not used to being amongst groups of people for an extended period of time. Oddly enough I was fine when we were in Chicago, the third largest city in the US. No issues then, but the past six days have done me in.

Our Own Lucy and Desi

I sat in bed this morning watching CBS Sunday Morning. It's my Sunday ritual since the pandemic began. A morning of good feels followed by Face The Nation and political talk with my husband follows. On this Sunday morning, I was filled with emotions as Jane Pauley spoke about the new movie about Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez. Naturally, they showed clips from I Love Lucy and I began thinking about my grandparents.

My grandma was a fair skinned girl from the East side, while my grandpa a Spanish speaking Mexican. We had our very own Lucy and Desi. There are so many stories and memories that come to mind when I think of them: the aroma of homemade Mexican food filled their home, the way the sheets smelled on their clothes line as they dried, picking raspberries at the back of their yard, weekend visits, my grandpa's treat basket. Then there's the stories that bring a smile to my face whenever I think of them: 

Such as when my grandma tried to beat the railroad crossing arms as they came down in my grandpa's new car. One side of the car has a long scratch on it because she did not, in fact, beat the arm. She brought it into an autobody shop and had it repainted. By the time she picked my grandpa up after work, the new paint job was dry and my grandpa never knew about his car. Well, maybe he did years and years later after it happened since this story has been retold to me many, many times.

Then, there's the first spray paint story. My grandma was trying to hammer a nail into the wall and decided on a bottle of orange spray paint to do the job. Obviously, the nail punctured the can and my grandma, not knowing what to do, ran through the house with the can of spraying orange paint to get it outside. Logical thinking, I likely would do the same. Except, it left a trail of bright orange spray paint throughout the walls of their house, ending at the back door, where my grandma threw it out into the yard. I don't remember what my grandpa did when he came home to find orange spray paint all over his house, but I know he laughed retelling that story to his grandchildren years later.

The second spray paint story happened many years later, as we were sitting around my grandparents house chatting. My mom decided to paint her nail in the living room, with bright red nail polish, on my grandma's brand new carpet. My grandma was so stoked by her new carpet that she was protective of it. As you can guess, my mom dropped the bottle of red nail polish all over the carpet. My grandma, who could barely breathe anyway due to emphysema, sat on the couch, holding her rosery, saying over and over again, "my carpet, my new carpet." My grandpa ran to get cleaner, quickly came back into the room, and told us all to stand back while he sprayed the spot. We watched the spot go from red to dark green. I remember one of us asking, "why is it green?" before we realized my grandpa had grabbed spray paint. Not carpet cleaner, spray paint. This caused my grandma to clench her chest with her hands, as she continued saying, "my carpet. My brand new carpet." In the end, the spray paint and nail polish all came out of the carpet, somehow. And no one was allowed to paint their nails on that carpet ever again.

There's the one night I spent the night with them. As I lay in bed in their spare bedroom, my grandpa was watching a Western in his room (next to the one I was staying in). My grandma, her emphysema restricting her breathing quite a lot at this point, slept upright in a reclining chair. Yelling from her chair, my grandma asked my grandpa to turn the damn TV down. My grandpa responded by quickly flicking off his TV and yelling back, "it's not even on! You're hearing things old woman!" My grandma apologized, I laid in bed holding back my laughter, and quietly giggled myself to sleep as I thought about what I had just seen unfold.

I Love Lucy is a classic show to watch whenever you're feeling down, but I rarely have to watch it. All I have to do is think of our own Lucy and Desi and I'm instantly smiling.

I Wear Make Up Again

 

I have rarely worn make up or my contacts for the last 22 months. I've been enjoying the leggings and glasses life, with my face bare. I can literally count on one hand the number of times I've worn make up since March 2020. That means when I do wear it, I instantly forget I have it on. I'm sure I made people laugh today when they witnessed me pushing up the nonexistent glasses on my face. I'm so used to wearing them that it didn't even register with me that I didn't have them on! At one point I even declared, loudly, "where are my glasses?" 

I was fairing a bit better remembering my make up. I stopped myself just before I rubbed my eyes numerous times throughout the day. It wasn't until the very end of our day, as we sipped hot chocolate, that I reached up and rubbed my forehead, before moving down to my eye. I had my filled in eyebrows and eyeliner all over. A mini or two nearly spit out their hot chocolate when they saw the aftermath. As we were sitting in the dessert bar, I fixed my eye area up with rough napkins, while other tables took in the scene.

No shame here. Happy to keep others entertained just by being me.

Knock The Goals Outta The Park

 

Being self employed and someone who is working towards growth by bettering myself, I like lists. I enjoy creating my ongoing, never complete Bucket List. It seems as soon as I cross one thing off, I instantly find five more things to add to it. I have To Do Lists coming out of my ears: there's the monthly to do list, weekly to do lists, daily to do lists, seasonal to do lists, and yearly to do lists. I treat these To Do Lists as goals, trying to get everything crossed off, so I can move onto the next. It's exhausting, but it's who I am. I'm never joking when I say, "it's exhausting being me; try being inside my mind."

My brain is constantly thinking, coming up with ideas. Even as I drift off to sleep, if I fall asleep with an idea on the tip of my brain, I dream about it all night long. 2021 has been a year of huge growth and development for me. That's required me to make big goals for myself. I started the year with the goal to give myself a little more me time by completing a writing a day. It hasn't been perfect. I've skipped an entire week here and there due to travels or crazy days. However, with this post, I am completely caught up. I have written 328 blog posts of my thoughts, our life, daycare, little ramblings.

October was travel month for us. I completed my goal of solo traveling with kids, seeing whales in the wild, climbing mountains (that's not new, but it's something we love to do), and seeing places that have been on my bucket list. I needed something for November. On the morning of November 1st, I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo. By November 18, I had 50,000+ words and a rough draft of a book. A book I've had in my head for awhile, but never made the time to get it all out. 

I have no idea what I'll do with this book or what writing goals I'll make into 2022; I know I'll make some because that's just who I am. But for now, I'm proud for sticking with it and hitting the goals I've made for myself this year.

All Vaccinated

 This is a huge milestone for our family. As of yesterday morning, all members of our household are vaccinated against Covid. The two youngest will be considered fully vaxxed by mid-December. There were many happy tears shed! I feel as though this is the beginning of the end. We are looking forward to enjoying a normal Christmas and holiday season with our extended family and friends (who are all fully vaccinated as well). It's an amazing feeling!

Doing good, doing good, doing...ope! That hurt. There were zero tears however and she's still excited for her second shot so she can be "fully vaccinated!"

One kid wouldn't open his eyes and the other temporarily acted as though her arm was broken. That changed when we took them grocery shopping afterward and let her pick out whatever she wanted. As with the other age groups, the kids had to wait 15-20 minutes after their shot to make sure they were okay. Luckily, the pharmacy we went to was in a grocery store, so we got some of our shopping out of the way while we waited.

I don't yet know how this will change how our life currently is. It's been a long twenty months, but I imagine will take some time dipping our toes back into life. We're most looking forward to enjoying luxeries such as movie theaters and restaurants.